THE chances of a man called Bart Simpson appearing before a judge named Mr Burns were slim, if not beyond imagining.
More commonly associated with biblical plagues and reviled for their tendency to munch through crops at an alarming rate, the locusts which have been swarming across Israel for the last few weeks are now finding the tables are turning – quite literally – and they're the ones on the menu.
DISCOVERED www.madmeninnotes.com, in which all 65 episodes (3055 minutes) of Mad Men are reduced to a series of Post-It notes.
THE etymologies are quiet about the word nook.
Back when I was a 17-year-old-high school pupil, my classmates and I would go out every weekend to the local bar in our home town.
NEWS that only three people tuned in online to a live debate at Bristol City Council will disturb those who care for democracy.
What a relief that, following the discovery of Richard III's remains, filmmakers and television companies appear to be turning their attention to other subjects besides the 16th-century English court.
Good news everyone.
I THINK it fair to say that I won't be setting fire to my face any time soon.
I think both times I gave birth I fell in love with the midwife.
NEWS that novelist Sebastian Faulks is to step into the stout brogues of God – sorry, PG Wodehouse; I always get these two mixed up – has been greeted with a mixture of incredulity, distaste and applause.
Not the sort of gospel music that made John Belushi cartwheel down the aisle in The Blues Brothers, though.
For certain people, it's a fate worst than death and unspeakably ghastly.
I WANT to watch the internet video of the puppy and the seal playing hide-and-seek.
Above a suitably statuesque Brian Bolland illustration of Judge Dredd, the cover declares "35 Zarjaz Years".
A FRIGHTENING picture is emerging of life in an Amazon warehouse.
Apart from the odd blip of black despair, mostly I regard myself as an optimist.
Imagine for a moment that you are an Italian citizen.
Here we go again.
I REFER not to cleanliness.
TYPE Ronnie Barker's name into YouTube and get a collection of his greatest hits: Porridge, Open All Hours and, chiefly, The Two Ronnies, and its endless array of sketches studded with jokes and wordplay.
SACHA Baron Cohen is the latest star to be hit with the heinous allegation: recluse.
I LOVE the idea that the retro art of napkin-folding is back in vogue.
Too often the subject of sexist jokes from male petrolheads who rubbish everything from their parking skills to their choice of upholstery – take a bow Messrs Clarkson, Hammond and May – women are proving that when it comes to pedal power they have as much mettle as the next man.
WHATEVER happened to the days when politicians spoke about politics?
HANDS: ruddy nuisance, aren't they?
Still perfecting that Gangnam Style party piece?
I'M NOT talking about virtual Americas or North Koreas.
One of my favourite movies from my younger years, Romeo + Juliet, was screened on TV on Thursday night, in honour of Valentine's day.