NEWS that money is the root of all happiness has spread fear and alarm through the country.
The delicate issue of how we wish to be remembered when we're gone has risen again in the shape of Sir Jimmy Savile's triple-width headstone at a cemetery in Scarborough.
Anyone who has gazed as adoringly at Robbie Savage in the TV studio as he himself gazes in the mirror will know that the football player-turned-Match Of The Day pundit sports fine flowing locks.
BEFORE we go on, maybe we should clarify the above heading.
AS USUAL, I should clarify what I mean, as nothing is as it seems.
Spires and domes jostle for position.
TALK about stating the bleedin' oblivious.
I know what you're going to say.
There are many meals I enjoyed eating when I was younger, with my mum's macaroni cheese, sausages dipped in HP sauce and French toast at the top of the list.
BILL Fay's name has forever lingered in the margins of British music, known only to a small, persistent number of fans and fellow singers on both sides of the Atlantic.
YOU wouldn't think there'd be much cause to highlight the joys of sitting under a tree.
IT'S not often that I find myself with much call to peruse the fashion pages, but my antenna pricked up when I heard someone talking about the trainers that designer Donna Karan showcased in New York Fashion Week.
GOUFFRE Berger, who he?
Every Tuesday night, my husband goes out and I indulge my secret shame.
Psycho is a great film.
For those who have even the smallest pinch of spare flesh, the latest health study to emerge from the US, declaring half of fat people are just as healthy as slim people, makes you want to run straight to the nearest baker and buy a celebratory cream puff.
WE GATHER once more to pay tribute to a group of persons who did not make it in evolution.
Yes, I know, I know, how could I.
Let us be clear, as politicians say before they're about to dissemble.
I know some unfortunate people who lament the first signs of autumn, seeing only death and decay in the turning of leaves from green into gold.
The scene in Charles Dickens's Great Expectations in which the convict Magwitch first surprises young Pip Pirrip in a graveyard is one of the most memorable in English literature.
"Sing Lady in Red before you go," says the BBC commissionaire in cheery voice as I'm about to leave the building.
I MEET a lot of people who hate gardening.
Everyone moans about the weather.
ON THE rare occasions when I venture forth to strange places, the first thing I do is buy the local paper.
And Total Recall makes twelve.
One of the most common relationship fallacies must surely be the oft-repeated "fact" that the majority of men prefer women without make-up on.
When it comes to clothes, my mother has always had a simple philosophy: if you keep things long enough, they'll come back into fashion.
AS TOWN mottos go, "The stool capital of the world" (Blaine, Missouri) and "Where the battle wasn't" (Gettysburg, South Dakota) are pretty good.