I'M A simple thing myself, hence perhaps the bias.
There are, I accept, a few reasons why you might not be keen on the French.
KOURTNEY Kardashian has announced her new baby daughter's name is Penelope Scotland.
AS I stood at the counter, debit card in hand, wondering even at this late stage whether I really, genuinely needed an iPad, I swore to use it for serious purposes: no arcade games like Angry Birds, no simulation games, no hours in the app store in search of diverting gimmicks that would ultimately be a waste of time.
I'M referring to First World hunger to differentiate it from Third World hunger, which is obviously an awful situation where people have no choice.
Countless schoolkids have had their knuckles rapped for it.
THOSE of you fortunate enough to have computers will know there are many internet videos there featuring cute baby animals doing cute baby things.
Last week I outed myself as a Federer fan girl.
By wedding here, I don't mean the single event of the ceremony, I mean the whole fortnight-long fandango of lead-up.
FOR as long as I can remember – about a week – we've been taunted with futuristic cars.
I USED to think there was so many books in the world that I would never need to read the same one twice.
AS MY friends will readily attest, I make a hash of everything.
AGED 11, I found myself in a playground argument with a boy about nothing really, but he clearly took exception to something I'd said because the next thing I knew a bucket of puddle water was tossed over my head.
Yes, it's a hard one to defend given its place in the seven deadly sins – doubly so when you learn that its parent sin, pride, is often considered the original and most serious of the lot (something to do with a fellow called Lucifer and his banishment from head office to a hellish job in the sticks).
Much as I love the rain, the mud and the all-round convivial vibe, it was meeting Rocky that really switched me on to the joys of rural life.
IT'S a convention of Freudian psychiatry that you mustn't repress painful memories or they'll come oot another way, perhaps in your eye twitching when anyone says "turnip".
"You can tell you're from Paisley." "You're from Paisley?
I SHOULD confess that I no longer eat biscuits.
Here's today's depressing fact.
LOCAL officials in Orkney are unlikely to get worked up about the recent spate of "graffiti" appearing around Kirkwall and beyond – despite the fact the annual St Magnus arts festival is well underway, attracting visitors from around the globe.
BROWSING in a book shop yesterday, and trying not to act suspiciously lest it show up on the CCTV, I was stopped in my tracks.
WHERE do you start with the Beatles?
THE Danes have a saying that "You're safer on the bicycle than on the sofa" – the suggestion being that a sedentary lifestyle is a potentially greater threat to longevity than hopping in the saddle.
THE estimable pop band Half Man Half Biscuit, composers of The Trumpton Riots, nearly got it right.
On June 16, 1890, the world became a much better place.
Do not be ashamed of what you are, but more importantly: do not be ashamed of what you used to be.
Speaking as one who has produced two small boys with a man heading, now, towards his mid- century, I have to say that, when it comes to older dads, what's not to like?
ALL right, hands up who doesn't know there's a "D" in Roosevelt?
The lowly, unassuming dining table.
YOU may laugh, as you grab my street cred and throw it about beyond my grasping hands.