FIRST, a few disclaimers.
When I refer in any positive sense whatsoever to Ann Widdecombe's heid I'm not including the voice that emanates from therein nor yet the things it says.
The former Tory MP, ignoramus on Scottish affairs and celebrity dancer, has a voice that should make the loudspeaker announcements in hell: "Would all new inmates sent here for anti-Scottish bigotry please stand at the side of the nearest fiery pit, prior to being bunged in. Not you, Starkey. We've something special laid on for you. Thank you for your co-operation."
Even a whispered nothing from Ann can shatter nearby glassware and send hounds into howling paroxysms. As regards what it says, she at least is no bigot and, indeed, can speak two languages. The second of which is bilge.
However, we come to praise the Widdecombe's heid not to bury it. The old gal's done a pretty good job of making herself over in recent years, but has surpassed herself with a new hairdo specially created for playing the role of the Duchess in the opera La Fille du Regiment.
Mustering up all my manly descriptive skills, I can say authoritatively that it's kind of wavy. And it works. At one time, her hair looked like a damp cloth on a bowling ball. Now she looks almost sophisticated. Remarkable.
Burdz' hairstyles become a vexed issue as they get older, and I'm happy to advise them on the matter. To wit, it's an absolutely elementary mistake to go for an old lady perm, even if you're an old lady. The hair should be kept long, whether flowing or straight.
At 64, the Widdecombe isn't particularly old and her hair isn't especially long. But, in going for something stylish, her heid can be an inspiration to daft old bats everywhere.
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