THE Beatles sang about being 64, but they were four years out when it came to happiness.
According to research by a top university — sorry, by the sweet brand Juicy Drop Pop (no kidding) — the ages of 68 and nine are when you're happiest. At least, they're the ages at which most people prioritise fun.
I'm not sure being happy and having fun are the same thing, but who am I to argue with Juicy Drop Pop? The leading sweet brand also found that three-quarters of those in their twenties and forties put fun way down the priority list after paying off debts and furthering careers. How sad.
Mind you, I've often thought of late that wisdom really does come with age. That's why voting should be restricted to the over-30s.
But it must be grand to stop competing at last. Sod the novel that never got written. Who cares if the biceps are turning to putty? Finally, it truly will be time to chill, and without necessarily getting blootered.
Curiously enough, the same survey – of 2,000 people – found that one in five of those over 60 fancied action-packed holidays of adventure and thrills. There's always one in five, isn't there?
To me, reaching 68 will be a chance to sit down. I know: I'm sitting down as I write, and have been for most of the day. But it'll be nice not to feel guilty about it.
It occurs to me that, by 68, you may also be free of poverty, just as at nine it isn't your problem. I doot it'll be another four years for me, though, with a mortgage running till I'm 72.
Sixty-eight's gey young these days, anyway. Still plenty to do – maybe that novel after all. Just that the hero will have greyer hair and a paunch.
We moderate all comments on HeraldScotland on either a pre-moderated or post-moderated basis. If you're a relatively new user then your comments will be reviewed before publication and if we know you well then your comments will be subject to moderation only if other users or the moderators believe you've broken the rules, which are available here.
Moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours. Please be patient if your posts are not approved instantly.