I WONDER if I'm truly becoming more stupid?
A research team from Stanford University claimed recently we need less intelligence to survive because in modern society so much is done for us – as a result our brain power genes are mutating into porridge.
I can certainly see the signs of my own increasing idiocy. For example, I'm still paying for a tennis club membership even though my knee will barely bend, I still can't work out how to switch power tariffs, how to take photos on my phone, or tag someone on Facebook. (I don't know why I don't care either.)
I can't for the life of me work out the attraction in Cheryl, Tulisa or Kate Moss. I still can't find Checkhov or Strindberg more than mildly entertaining. And I don't know what women are really thinking (but then no man truly can).
I can't figure out how MPs can rent their flats to a friend and claim the profit, while renting another home and claiming expenses. Nor indeed can I fathom why footballers get so much money they can afford to rent flats to MPs.
But there are other indicators of developing daftness. I took the bike onto the cycle path recently, at 7pm, without lights, in the middle of the country where it was as dark as Jimmy Savile's heart, and almost hit a little black dog – then actually found myself muttering: "Why can't the owner put a light around that mutt's neck?"
Perhaps the brain cells have not yet mutated into mush. I can (just about) follow the plot of Homeland and I've realised watching X Factor and I'm A Celebrity represent an hour lost out of my life.
Having said that I still think I'll interview Olivia Newton John sometime soon and she'll reckon I'm hotter than July.
We moderate all comments on HeraldScotland on either a pre-moderated or post-moderated basis. If you're a relatively new user then your comments will be reviewed before publication and if we know you well and trust you then your comments will be subject to moderation only if other users or the moderators believe you've broken the rules, which are available here.
Moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours. Please be patient if your posts are not approved instantly.