DURING my extended and pleasant stay at Swanky Towers, abode of good friends Cedric and Millicent, the male half of yon duo complained frequently that his hands were getting stuck to the bannister, door knobs and light switches.
Millicent and I told him he was peculiar, but then one day the truth dawned on Cedric's furrowed brow, and he ululated in my direction: "It's you and your ruddy honey!"
I put my hands up and, not unusually, they were smeared in honey. I exaggerate, of course. My hands are not always smeared in honey. But if you were to go on Mastermind and be asked, "Is Robert McNeil fond of honey?", you'd get a point for answering: "Oh, yes!"
Yes indeed. I like honey. I couldn't eat a whole jar of it, mind. I'm not even that fond of it on its own. But I love it on bread and oatcakes, and in my porridge and coffee. I'm not sure how it gets on my hands, though it may be to do with my being a slaister.
But I'd bathe in honey if I had the money. Why not? Honey comes from sunshine, flowers and bees: all good things. If you're against honey, or otherwise churlish, you might say: "It's insect puke." But yon would be a right wrong thing to say.
Without blinding you with science, pollen is collected on the bees' legs then, when they get back to their hoose or "hive", they kick it towards specially trained colleagues, who head it into vats, where it's stirred and stirred until honey comes oot. D'you see?
Honey is as natural as you can get, particularly when organic. It boosts your energy and your immune system.
It's also fun to get it on your hands and smear it onto bannisters, door knobs and light switches.
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