Sometimes it takes an outsider to show you what you've been missing.
Someone on the periphery who can see things with a fresh eye and point out the obvious.
It all happened over breakfast one morning about a year ago. The table was groaning with eggs, bacon and fluffy white rolls. Delicious-smelling black pudding was sizzling in the frying pan along with triangles of potato scone. Under the grill the sausages were spitting and hissing their way through the cooking process.
"What's that under the grill?" the new (crucially not Scottish) person asked. "Sausage," came the response.
"No, not the sausages, the pink square stuff, what's that?"
"Square sausage? What, like squasage?"
There was a moment of contemplative silence. We were all thinking the same thing: why had no one in this dear country thought of this brilliant, comedy-of-a-hybrid word before?
Square sausage isn't a good enough name for one of this country's tastiest breakfast treats. It makes what you've placed between the two soft halves of a roll and slathered in tomato sauce sound like the cheese slice of the meat world.
The name Lorne sausage isn't great either. Squasage, on the other hand, is a great name. It's a marketing man's dream. It's all at once descriptive and fun – it tells you what you're eating (a square-shaped, flat sausage product) but in a quirky way.
Based on the small sample of people around the breakfast table that morning (six, to be exact) the word squasage is catching on too. Family and friends now say it – you should too. Have a roll and squasage.
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