STROLLED into the Levi's store in Glasgow's Buchanan Galleries at lunchtime (with an eye on a new pair of jeans) and caught the eye of Attractive Young Female Assistant.
She offered the expected welcoming smile, which I read to mean "So glad you're not going to Gap."
However, while checking out jeans (too faded/material too stiff/would need to be taken up) it was noticeable that AYFA continued to smile in my direction. A big smile. And the beam continued. And it was pleasing, but confusing, because the last time a twenty-something smiled at me I was also a twenty-something.
So I did what every man of a certain age would do – I turned away uncomfortably and pretended to check out the jackets. Yet, when I looked up again she was still smiling. The mind raced into overtime. What's she up to? Searching for a sugar daddy? Can't be. Such girls have x-ray vision that can see right through trouser pocket to detect Porsche keys or platinum credit card.
So I slid out of the shop, confused, yet pleased that an AYFA had spent the best part of five minutes acknowledging my very existence.
But as I sashayed along for some reason I looked downwards. And froze. OMG! Prior to leaving the office I'd used the toilet, and with the floor being a little puddly I'd rolled up each trouser leg six inches. And forgotten to roll them back down. Shin skin was on show.
However, I can take comfort from a kindred spirit. TS Eliot in fact. "I grow old. I grow old," he wrote. "I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled. I have heard the mermaids singing to each other. I do not think they will sing to me."
Mermaids or shop girls, TSE, neither sings to me either.
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