IT was back to school yesterday for many Scottish schools.

Alan Duncan tells us his grandson argued with his mother that he had been going to school for three years, and that was enough for him. Says Alan: "My daughter-in-law gently explained he had to go back. If he didn't she would be taken away to jail for not sending him.

"To which he replied, 'For how long?'"

Street of shame?

LONDON'S Carnaby Street is still full of clothes shops decades after its heyday as an iconic fashion street in the 1960s and 1970s. But not everyone is impressed.

Peter Liddell from Paisley was walking along it when he heard a woman with a distinctive Dundonian accent bellow down her mobile phone: "It's jist a wee narry street wi' claes hingin ootside."

"Praise indeed," thought Peter.

Steps to ponder

TERRY McGeary in East Kilbride watched the BBC programme Monitor Me about using mobile phone apps to improve health. Says Terry: "Presenter Dr Kevin Fong revealed that it would be a good thing if we used an app to detect the recommended 10,000 steps we should take daily.

"Given that from the settee to the kettle is only about 10, I am going to have to start drinking a lot more coffee."

Record effort

THE BBC Scottish Symphony Club marked Glasgow composer Eddie McGuire's 65th birthday with a concert of his music, which was successfully repeated last night at the Edinburgh Fringe. But Eddie tells us that decades ago he announced his surreal idea that he would only have three official birthday parties - all to be based on record speeds. A 331/3 and a 45th have duly transpired - the 78th is in 2026 - with parties that entailed playing copious numbers of said discs.

Eddie, appearing with the Whistlebinkies later in the Fringe, is just hoping that a few folk are putting away their old 78s for the big day when it comes.

Getting her goat

TALKING of the Fringe, Mabel Aitken's play Two Thirds Below at the Gryphon Venues at the Point Hotel has a live goat in the performance which she has borrowed from the Gorgie City Farm. Unfortunately a traffic warden told her that she couldn't leave the goat's trailer in a parking bay outside the venue "because it doesn't have an engine". Only motorised vehicles allowed.

So instead the goat has to be walked every day to the venue by its handler.

Good to see traffic wardens living up to their reputation.

Safe bet

THE Scotland-England game took place last night of course and golf club Prestwick St Nicholas encouraged members to watch the game there by offering a free pint every time Scotland scored.

"So not taking much of a risk there," said a long-suffering Scots fan at the club.