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A roundabout answer

THIS confirms what we've always suspected about Scotland's new towns.

In the foreword to the just-published Livingston Lives by archivist Emma Peattie, retired local GP Frank Stewart writes: "There is a tale told about the planning of Livingston new town that whenever the designers stopped for a cup of coffee, a round mark appeared on the road plan and a corresponding roundabout duly appeared on the ground."

Did he dry?

DAD'S Army actor Clive Dunn has sadly died. We remember him recounting that after the war he began his stage career – singing, dancing, telling jokes, acting, all for £8 a week. Clive added: "I found out that the washer-up at the theatre was getting £12 a week. It was Les Dawson. I could only deduce that his washing-up was funnier than my comedy act."

House call

THE left-wing in America is of course gloating over the defeat of super-rich Mitt Romney. As one Obama fan tells us: "Well at least Mrs Romney can console herself with the fact she won't have to move into a smaller house."

Shouting distance

RUGBY tours: there are two words which bring a distant smile to accountants, bankers and lawyers in Scotland. Our stories of misunderstood Scottish words brings forth from one of the aforementioned: "On a rugby tour to Washington DC in the 70s I made the acquaintance of a young lady.

"At a party someone asked how my voice had become so hoarse. My explanation was that it was due to 'all the shouting and bawling' I had been doing. I meant, of course, loud singing of rugby songs, but I got a serious slap from my companion before it was explained that the Scottish word 'bawling' had quite a different meaning from the American 'balling'."

Any more printable tour stories out there?

The old course

"FINALLY everything's started to click," announced the old chap in the Ayrshire golf club.

"My knees, my elbows, my neck."

No coaching allowed

AN ENGLISH reader phones to tell us: "I've been told I'll lose my Jobseeker's Allowance if a don't attend a job interview tomorrow."

He adds: "But I'd rather keep my dignity than be the manager of Scotland."

West end musical

OUR mention of roller derby girl Camelon Diaz brings forth further Scotland/Hollywood cross-overs. Says John Thomson in Jordanhill: "I'm looking forward to the Glasgow remake of Dirty Dancing – starring West End actor Partick Swayze and Paisley lass Glennifer Grey."

Country places

AND Alan Taylor in Lanarkshire tells us the cross-over extends to the world of country and western singing with Kris Corstorphine and Olivia Newton Mearns.

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