WE mentioned The Open returning to Troon in 2016, and local Allan Mackintosh tells us: "I took a non-golfing colleague to Troon for his first Open.
At the 18th tee, after one of the pros had badly sliced into the deep rough, my colleague started clapping despite the muffled groans all around. I asked him why he had clapped a bad shot, and he replied, 'What do you mean bad shot? He hit it first time'."
Welsh rare bit?
RAISED in the Muirhouse scheme in Edinburgh, Trainspotting writer Irvine Welsh has always been proud of his working-class roots. However reader John Neil reads an interview with the author in the Welsh newspaper the Western Mail which states: "Welsh grew up in the Morningside housing projects in the city."
We don't know when the ladies of Morningside will recover from that faux pas.
Hold that thought...
A GLASGOW stewardess on an Edinburgh shuttle this week came across two chaps in tracksuits trying to cram a cardboard box marked "Fragile" into a locker, but it wouldn't fit. They argued it fitted on their long-haul flight, but she explained this was a smaller plane, and offered to put it in the hold.
She then noticed "Scotland" on their tracksuits and asked if they were a sports team. "Rugby" was the terse reply.
"Did you win?" she asked, which is how she learned she was ordering Scots captain Ross Ford to put the crystal Hopetoun Cup the team beat Australia to win, in the hold.
Instead it was placed carefully in the flight deck, and our Glasgow girl is now a rugby fan.
A GLASGOW chap tells us he was wondering what the reaction would be when he told his parents he was entering into a civil partnership with his boyfriend.
He reckoned his dad was pretty cool about it as he asked: "Does that mean two stag nights?"
Having a ball
SCOTTISH comedian and popular Radio Clyde DJ Mr Abie has died. Neil Dunn recalls: "In the 1970s I organised a football match between Radio Clyde and Radio Forth which attracted nearly 10,000 punters. Mr Abie insisted on supplying the match ball and, at the end of the game, asked every celebrity to sign it, and promptly nicked it back and auctioned it that same night at a gig for his favourite charity, Cash for Kids."
"THINGS have gone from bad to worse at Rangers," a football fan tells us.
"Kirk Broadfoot turned up for pre-season training."
Right on cue...
ON a more cerebral level, Paul McGivern muses: "As former player John Brown launches his bid to takeover Rangers, rumours still abound that Charles Green and Craig Whyte are secretbuisness partners.
"So if Whyte is behind Green, does this mean that Brown is snookered?"
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