WE'RE sure she was joking, but we hear that Councillor Janice Annal in Orkney, at the ceremonial cutting of the first sod this week at the site of the new Kirkwall Grammar School, spoke of the importance of education, before including in her speech: "When Sir Francis Drake was getting ready to fight in the Battle of Trafalgar ..."
KIND of sad the news that ITV no longer wants to buy Taggart from Scottish Television, even although most of us stopped watching years ago. We all know that Taggart never said: “There’s been a murder,” but curiously, Inspector Morse did in one of his episodes. Anyway, for some reason the news reminds us of when the splendid Alex Norton, who plays Insepctor Matt Burke in Taggart, was attending a political rally many moons ago and a wee wummin trying to flog the Communist Party’s newspaper was bellowing: “Morning Star!”
Alex couldn’t resist shouting back: “Morning missus!”
AND of course there was the time when actor Colin McCredie, who played DC Stuart Fraser in Taggart, was in a Glasgow taxi, and the driver said he knew his face from somewhere. Colin replied that he was an actor in Taggart, and was reaching for his pen for a possible autograph request when the driver replied: “Huv ye no ambition?”
Colin of course is now in River City, proving the taxi driver right or wrong, depending on your point of view.
Bottom of the charts
A GLASGOW businessman reading the financial pages opines: “Just looking at HMV’s share price of 10p, when back in 2006 it was £2. Is this the worst since records began?”
Going to a better place
WE asked for your funeral stories, and Annie McQuiston recalls: “We were attending an elderly great aunt’s funeral, and the CD was playing The White Cliffs of Dover. All very solemn as the curtains closed at the crematorium until the next song came belting out which was Wish me Luck as you Wave me Goodbye.
“May just request this for my own.”
Hit on it
AND retired police inspector turned crime novelist Les Brown tells us that many years ago in the Gorbals new police recruits were taken on the beat, and led into the cellar of the vast Co-op headquarters in Morrison Street where the coffins were stored.
Says Les: “After a few minutes the lid of a coffin would slide sideways and a shrouded figure, which was of course another cop, sat up.
“The practice came to a sudden end when a young cop struck the shrouded figure with his baton before exiting the building.”
Calling your name
A READER overhears a Glasgow woman tell her pals over a coffee: “In the evening I can hear any leftover cake, and sometimes ice cream, calling to me from the fridge.
“Broccoli is strangely silent.”
COMBINING these two great Scottish loves, fitba and politics, reader Peter Lynch wonders: “Now we have three parties without a leader, and three ex-leaders looking for a job, couldn’t they just adopt the habit and practice of the football world and hire each other’s failures?”
Have your cake
MISHEARD lyrics continued. Says Alistair Hems: “I always thought Elvis had a problem with the child that was born on a cold and grey Chicago morning being brought up in the gateaux.”
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