READER Patrick Fox ventured out in Queen's Park in the south side of Glasgow for a jog after being unable to exercise for six months due to a knee injury.
As he confesses: "Queen's Park isn't as easy as it looks. There are loads of hills and a toddler who decided to run pass me while pointing, laughing, and shouting: 'Slow! Slow!'
"I wouldn't have felt half as bad had the panting mother in pursuit not passed me too, while carrying her shopping no less. She told me: 'That's the first word she's ever uttered other than Mummy and Daddy.'"
IT was an English bank holiday at the weekend. Margery Fee overheard a chap ask a pal if it was to celebrate the anniversary of Scottish patriot William Wallace being executed.
NOT everyone was out enjoying the sunshine at the weekend. One reader traipsing around the Ikea showroom at Braehead heard a chap tell his partner: "They should make these fake rooms more authentic by having a couple in them screaming at each other as they try to assemble the wardrobes and shelves they've bought."
ALASDAIR Reid spots a press release from Melrose Rugby Club for the new season which quotes coach John Dalziel as saying: "With a few new faces on both our coaching team and throughout our squad there has been a fresh impotence and enthusiasm to our pre-season preparations."
Not a problem usually associated with rugby teams, it has to be said.
TECHNOLOGY continues to dominate the lives of the young. Newton Mearns reader Stuart MacDonald tells us: "A friend's five-year-old son was saying his prayers, finishing off with the usual 'amen'. After a brief pause he asked his mum, 'Is saying amen a bit like pressing the send button?'"
AND wise words at an Ayrshire golf club at the weekend where an older member opined: "Young folk will never experience the pleasure of slamming a phone down on someone. All they can do is point a finger at the screen."
An inconvenient truth
THE chap in the Glasgow pub at the weekend was being less than chivalrous when he announced: "The wife tells folk that 20 years after she got married, she still fits her wedding dress. What she doesn't tell them is that she was seven months pregnant at the time."
Sack to life
HELEN MacKinven was stuck at traffic lights in Denny when she noticed there was a miniature Santa Claus in the window of The Railway Inn. She is now wondering if it is a very early Santa or a very late one.
Way to go
WHO said women aren't natural comedians? A reader in a city centre coffee shop heard one woman tell her pals: "I was devastated when my sat-nav broke down.
"I didn't know which way to turn."
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