Says Tom Strang: "On a cycling trip to Ireland, we called in for an evening meal in a bar in Clady. The meal was going well until we asked the waitress for banoffee pie for pudding. She said, 'I gotta tell ya that we don't put bananas in our banoffee pie, cause they turn it brown.'
"We ended up with 'awfy' pie instead."
He'll go far
NEWS from the University of St Andrews where student journalist Jamie Ross stood to become president of the Students' Association with the slogan: "Student elections are pointless", promising he would spend his election budget on shoes. And he failed to attend the hustings meeting as he had an expiring yoghurt.
Guess what. He got nearly 1000 votes – more than any other candidate –but was later eliminated on the transferrable vote system.
We think he might have a future in politics.
INCIDENTALLY, Jamie stated that he was fed up with posh St Andrews students making fun of the locals. To see if he had a point we checked the students' website where Cara Nikita Bancroft writes: "Saw a girl who looked really young on South Street pushing a pram who told her friend, 'I would have liked to have been older when I had her. Sixteen would have been nice.'"
BEFORE jogging was popular, Bruce Skivington tells us: "In the 1970s, when working in Havant, one of my colleagues used to go out running every morning. He went into the notorious Leigh Park estate where he was lifted by the police who brought him back for confirmation of ID.
"Their explanation was that if they saw someone running at that time of the morning in that area they lifted them and waited for the crime to be discovered."
NATURALLY the new Pope was being widely discussed yesterday. Someone with way too much knowledge of couthy Scottish publications tells us: "I think the new Pope should hold out an olive branch to the gay community. I'd envisage a series of articles to outline the church's new policies. They could call it 'Francis's Gay Friendship Book.'"
MEANWHILE Gerry McDade is waiting for the new Pope to be invited to visit the Scottish Parliament. He reckons some newspaper headline writer will be unable to resist using "Frankie Goes to Holyrood".
MARTIN Williams eagerly tells us: "Finished my book about how to make money from a well- maintained vegetable patch. Weed it and reap."
File that one away
WE asked about updating old sayings to reflect today's high-tech world, and a reader suggests: "As fewer folk cook these days, the saying 'A watched pot never boils' won't mean an awful lot. Instead it should be 'A watched file never downloads.'"
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