Beep blooper

Diary Editor

Monday 21 November 2011

AS youngsters expect more and more complex smartphones as Christmas presents, a Troon reader is reminded of when mobile phones first appeared, and were the size and weight of a substantial house brick.

Custom byline text:

Ken Smith

Custom Disqus identifier:

http://www.heraldscotland.com/comment/ken-smiths-diary/beep-blooper-1.1135894

He was walking down the road at lunchtime back then with a smug colleague who had such a phone in his briefcase.

When he heard a beeping noise the smug colleague announced that was his mobile phone ringing. But as he delved in his case our reader was able to tell him: “Sorry, it’s actually the pedestrian crossing we’ve just passed.”

Texmas greetingsCHRISTMAS bunting and figurines are going out on display. But as Carol Smith in Partick asks: “Is there any reason why the giant inflatable dancing Santa outside a homeware store in Partick sings The Yellow Rose of Texas?”Our understanding is that thousands of such Santas are manufactured in China where Christmas is almost unknown, so the factory merely added the only Western song it knew.Any other Christmas oddities, please let us know.High pointA MILNGAVIE reader swears that he had a handyman fixing some loose tiles on his roof who came down from his ladder and said he would have to go home early as he was feeling a bit dizzy.“Vertigo?” asked our reader.“No, not far from the town centre,” replied the handyman.Born yesterday?AN UDDINGSTON reader tells us that not every call centre worker is really thinking very well when they are at work. He had to phone a company he had previously ordered goods from and the person on the phone said they just had to check that his details hadn’t changed. “Is your address still the same?” he asked. Then: “Phone number?”And finally: “Date of birth?”Sum embarrassmentFATHERS trying to be funny – doesn’t always work. A Dumbarton reader on the train to work heard a father joking with his son: “In my day I stopped halfway through my maths Higher and started doing press-ups in the classroom.“When the invigilator asked what I was doing I told him that it said on the exam paper that we had to show our working out.” His son, reports our reader, just shook his head and stared out the window.Grave warningAN excited reader asks: “Is that the new Diary book I see in my local bookshop?”It is indeed we tell her. It includes the tale of the gravediggers at a Highland funeral in deep winter stamping their feet to keep warm when a mourner asked them: “Do you chaps take a dram?”When they eagerly answered in the affirmative, the mourner pointed at the grave and told them: “Well let that be a dreadful warning to you.”

Commenting & Moderation

We moderate all comments on HeraldScotland on either a pre-moderated or post-moderated basis. If you're a relatively new user then your comments will be reviewed before publication and if we know you well then your comments will be subject to moderation only if other users or the moderators believe you've broken the rules, which are available here.

Moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours. Please be patient if your posts are not approved instantly.

Beep blooper

Commenting & Moderation

MOST READ

SPONSORED LINKS

MOST COMMENTED