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Bird is the word

OUR ostrich item yesterday caught the eye of Andy Cameron, who emails to say that while he was in South Africa he took a wee notion to try ostrich, and decided to order it in a fancy restaurant in Cape Town.

"It was delicious," he says, "although I found the drumsticks a bit too much and could only peck at my dessert ... "

Hi ho silver lining

DEPTARTMENT of Every Cloud has a Silver Lining. The well-known Scots writer and commentator Gerry Hassan helpfully tweeted what he described as a positive thought to Celtic fans still aghast at their team's Champions League exit at the hands of NK Maribor.

"At least you have avoided the embarrassment that would have been the Champions League group stage," says Gerry.

Impressed, the Diary immediately rang a long-standing Celtic fan of its acquaintance to pass this on, but received only a mouthful of unwarranted abuse for its pains, followed by the unmistakable sound of a phone being slammed on to its cradle.

Telly troubles

WE did, however, like the aggrieved comment on Facebook of one Celtic fan down south who was watching the match on the box.

"Game has just cost me £500," he lamented. "Not from the bookies but because the telly is about to go through the windae."

Fringe benefits

STAND-UP comedian and Mock the Week host Dara O Briain has tweeted an affectionate farewell to #edfringe or the Edinburgh Fringe, as everyone else calls it.

"So many brilliant shows, so much inspiration," he wrote. "And one night so late my room service bill said 'Breakfast drinks'."

Sideways view

READER Margaret Richardson, in a Glasgow branch of WH Smith, asked an assistant for photographic paper.

"I need a specific size," she explained. "Seven by five."

"Sorry," the assistant replied, scanning the shelves, "we've only got five by seven."

Margaret's face, needless to say, was a picture.

Pleasure and pain

DEPARTMENT of Whatever Turns You On. We reprint this glowing review from a fan of the Edinburgh Dungeon, via its Facebook page.

"Thanks for an amazing time! Not only did I get put in the dock by Judge Mental and accused of being a cross dresser but also put in the torturer's chair ... One of the best days out I've had in ages."

Call us old-fashioned, but personally, the Diary prefers the sedate pleasures of the book festival.

Hole in one

OLD sports with new definitions. Kate Hunter's grandchildren arrived for a visit and she suggested they had a go on Prestwick's new putting-green.

What, they wanted to know, was putting?

"Crazy golf without the obstacles," their dad replied.

Can Diary readers think of pithy definitions of other sports?

Fishy business

AND finally ... speaking (as we were, just a few short items ago), of newsagents' shelves, does anyone else habitually misread the title of fishing magazine Total Carp?

Contextual targeting label: 
Sport

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