SHOWBIZ followers in America are all agog at reality TV star Kourtney Kardashian and her boyfriend Scott Disick having a baby daughter whom they have named Penelope Scotland Disick (as in, is sick).
Fans on the Kardashian website have been divided, many thinking the name is cute, others not so sure. But we suspect a Scot with tongue in cheek who commented: "It could have been worse. It could have been Penelope England Disick."
Name for a champion
AND many in America will be stymied by the chap who claimed: "If she grows up to be a tennis player and wins Wimbledon, she'll be known as Penelope Britain Disick."
A READER in hospital in Glasgow noticed the chap in the next bed had a pal visiting who picked up the get well card on the table beside him, read it and asked his bed-bound chum: "Have you been causing trouble in here?"
When the patient looked puzzled, the visitor added: "Because this get well soon card has been sent from the nurses."
Mobile home from home
A STIRLINGSHIRE reader was commiserating with a caravan park owner who was having a lousy summer, and was impressed that the owner, having explained how much business was down, then tried a gag, telling him: "We did have one chap with a huge caravan who said he couldn't find anywhere to park it.
"So I gave him a wide berth."
IT'S not just sport that you can bet on these days. Irish bookmakers Paddy Power are offering odds on who will be the next Governor of the Bank of England, with former civil service head Gus O'Donnell favourite at 7/4. As the bank was founded by a Scot you may be wondering where the Scottish suggestions are. Well Paddy Power has former Prime Minister Gordon Brown at a healthy 200/1, but we think you should keep your money in your pocket for the other Scottish bet – former RBS boss Fred Goodwin at 300/1.
Success is in the bag
WITH less than a month to the Edinburgh Fringe, venue Gilded Balloon has got in touch with the acts appearing there to ask how they are getting on with their preparations. Musical act The Axis of Awesome, who are putting on a musical comedy, replied: "We've made our posters and flyers, tickets are on sale, our bags are packed ... I mean, we still have to write 97% of our new show, but that's the easy part, right? Right?!"
THE girly novel Fifty Shades of Grey is the talk of the steamie because of its racy content apparently, although that's not immediately apparent from the title. Reader Debbie Rai asks: "Is that a book about the Scottish summer?"
And a Glasgow girl commented: "I think it's about my boyfriend's underwear drawer."
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