AFTER The Herald's story about Tory justice spokesman David McLetchie complaining about 437 addresses in Scotland where ambulance crews have to call for police protection, a former Tory election candidate tells us: "That is about one-tenth of the number of addresses where a Tory supporter would need police protection."
OUR tales of mis-translations remind a reader: "My brother, a keen linguist, once read an article about Partick Thistle on a Spanish website which, written in English, claimed that Partick Thistle had many 'ventilators' around the world."
RODDIE McNicol in Bearsden recalls being on a "booze cruise" out of Greenock with medical staff from the Royal Infirmary when he ordered a round of beers, whiskies "and a G&T".
Adds Roddie: "After about 20 minutes I had to ask what the delay was, and was told that they had problems heating the water for the tea."
SO can there possibly be an upside to the rising cost of petrol? Well, Martin Morrison in Sutherland tells us: "I had to put fuel in the car this morning. It was cold, windy and raining. Fortunately, with petrol in Lochinver now £1.58 a litre, I can put £30 worth in the car in a matter of seconds and barely feel the elements at all."
WE have mentioned before the cheeky owners who have tried various ruses to have their racehorses registered with the occasional rude name.
Foster Evans points us to the race card at Down Royal near Lisburn the other day where Rachel O'Neill's horse Xilobs God came in seventh at 25/1. An unusual name indeed, until you read it backwards.
Make your mind up time
ATTENDING courses continued. A former college lecturer remembers: "In the college they used to produce a leaflet of in-service courses for staff.
"One lecturer was reading the list in the staffroom and said, 'I can't decide whether or not to go on the decision-making course.'
"She couldn't understand why the rest of us were rolling about laughing."
Terms of endearment
AS news of Clinton Cards shops being in financial difficulties, a reader phones to ask: "Would it be cruel to send Clinton Cards a 'Sorry you're going into administration' card from Moonpig?"
As a rule ...
"WE know that atheists don't believe in God," announced a reader who phoned us yesterday. "But do you know what else they don't believe in?"
When he indicated we didn't know, he triumphantly added: "The 'i' before 'e' except after 'c' spelling rule," before hanging up.
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