OUR tales of protecting foodstuffs at work remind Molly Bloom: "My early teaching career was spent in a small, Morayshire school.
On rare occasions the headteacher would be away at meetings. To ensure that nobody raided his tea caddy in the interim, he trapped a live fly in the box before locking up the staff room at night.
"Skinflint was an over-generous sobriquet for him."
TENNIS star Andy Murray's mum Judy was attending free tennis coaching for youngsters in Stirling this week when she was told by a seven-year-old: "I wish Murray had beaten Ferrero Rocher."
"Sweet," as Judy may or may not have replied.
THE death of Deep Purple's Jon Lord reminds old rockers of the legendary DP Glasgow gig in 1970 which was switched from the Electric Gardens – remember them! – to the Locarno because of the crowds.
As Dave Thompson's biography of the group put it: "Five were arrested, more were evicted from the roof where they were trying to break in and more simply ran riot in the streets."
Happy days. But as Dougie Melville recalled on a fans' website: "The first concert I attended was Deep Purple in Glasgow. I wore a cloak and a bowler hat with a feather in it, and thought I looked fantastic.
"What a pillock."
Play to win
"GIVE your old Monopoly board an Olympic Games makeover," phones a reader.
"Make the hotels too expensive, remove the stations and write 'McDonalds' all over the board."
NORMAN Ferguson feels that surely a clock for long service is due to Prof Gerard Carruthers at Glasgow University who is listed on the yooni's website as: "Professor of Scottish literature since 1700".
TALES of overheard conversations prompt Mary McNeill: "In my family we still talk about something overheard by my father many years ago. As he passed two women in Glasgow he heard one say to the other, 'And ever since that night Archie's slept with the hatchet under his pillow'."
It doesn't add up
A RENFREWSHIRE teacher now taking her well-earned summer break tells us about finding a pupil with his mobile phone on the desk, which is not allowed during lessons.
However, when teach challenged him and asked: "Is that a phone?" he merely replied: "Eh, no. It's my calculator."
A CELTIC fan tells us: "Sky Sports would like to apologise to all subscribers for wrongly advertising that they could watch Rangers in 3D. They meant Rangers in D3."
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