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Caught red-handed

ACCIDENTALLY appearing on TV continued.

Says retired police officer Alan Barlow: "I was working with the CID in Giffnock when two fellow officers went to Ibrox to watch the football as things were quiet.

"At that time Ibrox was not in our division or even in the same police force. Unfortunately they were seen on TV by our boss who asked for an explanation. Both said they were testing the range of the new personal radios and had got as far as Ibrox where they found the signal to be pretty good. Needless to say there were no more on-duty visits to Ibrox."

Postal check

EVEN stranger, Peter Flanagan recalls working on the oil rig site at Nigg and borrowing the company van to stock up at the local off-licence. Says Peter: "For years afterwards there was a postcard of Tain main street on sale with the bright orange and black van parked outside said off-licence and yours truly loading a case of beer into the back … I never did find who sent the post card to head office."

Rum and dumber

ANYONE been out shopping this Easter weekend? Donald Britton in Strathbungo tells us: "Early shopping in my local supermarket, and my attempt to buy a box of three mojito-flavoured Soleros was refused as the 'adults only' ice lollies contain 0.5% rum and it was before 10am. Don't you just love the nanny state?"

Fashion crime

GREAT to see Paisley singer/songwriter Paolo Nutini record the fastest-selling album of the year so far. We remember when Paolo was named Fashion Icon at the Scottish Fashion Awards, he told us: "When I was 14, I wanted to look gangsta, and I wore big baggy jeans, which I teamed with an ice-hockey top, and a wee beanie hat."

Added a very honest Paolo: "I looked like a complete arse."

Faithful following

SCOTTISH rugby's cup finals day was held on Saturday in Cumbernauld, and although the attendance was well down due to it being moved from Murrayfield, Glasgow Hawks' press officer Alex Gordon tried to talk up their final by pointing out in the press box that the SRU's live web stream was being watched by Glasgow Academicals and High School FPs in Africa, the US, Canada, France and the Caribbean.

"Nothing much changes then: their club's got a big game and they're miles away," remarked one of the press.

Bloodbath on the billing

MOVING from rugby to the more egalitarian world of junior football, this year's Junior Cup final is an all-Ayrshire final, between Hurlford United and Glenafton. Our Junior man Matt Vallance whets our appetite by explaining: "At the start of the season Glenafton manager Darren Henderson decamped to Hurlford, taking five players with him. This left new Glens boss Tommy Bryce with just three signed players. So already, sage observers of the Ayrshire game are predicting even more blood and snotters than in the normal junior match when these two meet."

Fan goes cock-a-hoop

GARY Hooper was transferred from Celtic to Norwich for nearly £5 million, and on Saturday he was in the news for scoring against Liverpool in a must-win game for Liverpool to win the Premiership. A Norwich fan complained that the FA Twitter feed had mentioned the Liverpool scorers but not Hooper, and the FA loftily replied on Twitter: "It is our editorial policy to focus on England's international players. Hope this helps explain."

"Hooper's English," a Norwich fan had to tell them. Oops.

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