GLASGOW International Comedy Festival next month has announced a "Watch With Baby" comedy show when parents can go out on a Sunday afternoon to see adult comedians without the expense of getting babysitters for their weans.
Jojo Sutherland, who is compering the gig at Oran Mor, declared: "It won't be the first Glasgow audience I've played to that's made up of people crying, shouting and vomiting."
Dental loss
A READER notes that healthcare provider Bupa has recently bought six dentist branches which are based in supermarkets, mainly in the Manchester area. "If they branched out into Glasgow supermarkets," he asks, "would they have an express queue for people with nine teeth or fewer?"
He's behind you!
CONTROVERSIAL comedian Jim Davidson, fresh from winning Celebrity Big Brother, has been in talks about returning to Scotland to appear in panto. As stand-up Stuart Mitchell said: "Looks like Jim Davidson is doing the Glasgow panto this year. The production manager said, 'We need a big name to put bams on seats.'"
An avalanche of post?
POSH customers continued. We hear of the Bearsden woman, during the heavy snow three years ago, arriving at Bearsden Post Office just as it was closing, in full ski suit, zooming in on skis. Seeing the shutters coming down she declared: "You can't be closed! I've just skied all the way down from Camstradden Drive!" It's where the big hooses are.
The Post Office assistant was so dumbstruck, she opened up and sold the lady two first class stamps.
A juicy name
WE asked for your tales of the Alpine lemonade lorries, and a Glasgow reader tells us of her pal John growing up with the nickname "Ginger" - not because that was the colour of his hair, but because his surname was Alpine.
Historical horseplay
NOSTALGIA alert! As we were talking about home deliveries, Terry McGeary in East Kilbride goes way way back and says: "One of my gran's favourite stories was from her childhood when coal was sold around the streets from a horse and cart. She and her pals would run after the cart chanting, 'What do you feed your horse on?' awaiting the vendor's cry of 'Coal!', at which point they fell about helpless with laughter. Never failed to amuse apparently."
Firmly predestined
MICHAEL Bruce in Garscadden tells us: "Clearly, Ally McCoist was born to be the current Rangers manager. His name is an anagram of Calmly Stoic."
Wine reduction
We finished our wine tales, but we should squeeze in Ian Mackenzie in East Kilbride who once heard in the supermarket the announcement over the PA system: "Why don't you visit our wine department today where all the different flavours are reduced."
Broom for improvement
OUR story of the hospital workers using frozen chickens for late-night impromptu curling reminds a reader of the soldiers who had to deep clean a military hospital's operating theatre and who would initially block the drains until there was a two-inch covering of water on the floor, then use squeegees and brooms for an improvised game of "unfrozen ice hockey" before completing their task.
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