Chrysallis-clear

Diary Editor

Thursday 20 September 2012

DOORS Open Day in Glasgow last weekend, and reader Jim Morrison was in the Glasgow Museums Resource Centre where they were being shown a stunning collection of butterflies.

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Ken Smith

When the guide explained that there had been a reduction in butterfly numbers in Scotland in recent years, a visitor asked: "Why's that?" It was of course the moment the guide was waiting for as he replied: "It's ever since they shut the Caterpillar factory."

Not enough bread?ALL the new students are arriving this week which explains why a reader in a Glasgow hardware store heard four students discussing the merits of buying a toaster which only cost £10. He says he feared for the future when one of them said: "So there's four of us. That's like £2 each."Piano forteTALES of pianos remind Michael Grace of BBC Radio Highland running a swap shop for listeners' unwanted items, and a woman from Dingwall phoning to swap a piano. He still remembers the broadcaster asking: "Is it a grand piano, Betty?" and Betty replying: "Oh aye, it's a topper."Alien conceptALIEN War has returned to The Arches in Glasgow, where 20 years ago the now middle-aged Glaswegians were scared witless running through the dark chambers being pursued by aliens.The story is told that after Glasgow, it transferred to London's Trocadero where singer Michael Jackson wanted to know what all the fuss was about, and sent one of his bodyguards to test it out.Half way through, the bodyguard came running out screaming so MJ decided not to go in. Anyone with any memories of 20 years ago?Chocs awaySOMEHOW we transported ourselves back more than half a century and started discussing back-court singers. Cora Snyder tells us: "Another cruel trick I remember we used to pull on back-court singers – wrap an old penny in the silver paper off your bar of chocolate before you lob it out the window, and watch them scramble hastily after it, thinking it's half a crown."Taxing situationPLANS to redesign George Square has brought forth your stories of the landmark, with David Chisholm in Dunblane recalling when a police officer on point duty – it was a few years ago – stopped the minister of David's church and, seeing his dog collar, asked: "Is there anything in yer religion, reverend, which says ye need not have an up-to-date tax disc?"Says David: "Flustered, the minister said he was sorry, and asked what he should do. Waving him on, the bobby said: 'I would drive home carefully and pray all the way, reverend'."

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