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Clyde on the run

POLICE Scotland have appealed for information on their Facebook page after the model of Clyde, the Commonwealth Games mascot, went missing from Glasgow's Paisley Road West.

Not everyone who replied was particularly helpful. "Probably lifted for loitering," replied one observer. "He's in England, he doesn't want independence," said another. But we suspect many a reader will agree with the person who wrote: "Unless he's using a mobile phone while driving, the police will never find him."

The usual suspects

A CUMBERNAULD reader has his own theory. He tells us a prison officer acquaintance claimed that all the usual drunks, druggies and nutters were swept up from the streets of Glasgow during the Games, and he and colleagues in Barlinnie's C Hall had to deal with the ensuing bedlam. Says our reader: "It certainly worked for Glasgow's image during the Games, but with them now being released I wonder if there is any connection to Clyde disappearing?"

Sticking point

TALKING about Clyde, we liked the blog of Aberdeen detective Frank McDermott who was part of the security detail on the Queen's Baton Relay before the Games. Asked for his highlights he wrote: "My roommate realising the Games mascot Clyde was a thistle and not a stick of celery." And a scene which sadly we missed, he said another highlight was "the wheelchair user carrying the baton in Ballantrae who was doing wheelies while shouting about Scottish freedom."

Referendum latest

SO what's been happening in the independence debate? Labour MP Jim Murphy brings his Twitter followers up to date by telling them: "Sign of times. Listening to Glasgow hen night debating referendum. Bride-to-be with necklace of condoms arguing about SNP and the pound." Rarely surely, that a woman with condoms would be talking about Alex Salmond, but who are we to doubt a politician.

Stutter mutter

OVER at the Fringe, stand-up David Mills, whose show Gimme Some Sugar is at The Hive, has also been invited on to Nicholas Parson's Happy Hour chat show - where he appeared last year. Recalled David: "Nicholas got my name wrong and introduced me as 'David Mitchell'. The crowd goes wild and I stride through to their obvious confusion. "Nicholas - the consummate professional - apologises and re-introduces me. We sit down and Nicholas starts his interview by asking how I am. I respond, 'Thrilled to be on the Mervyn Stutter Show'. Touché."

Mum's the word

FELT sorry for the bedraggled army in the rain in Edinburgh yesterday handing out leaflets for shows. Jana Kennedy, appearing with her mum Heidi at the Underbelly Cowgate, discussing mother and daughter relationships, says she cannot get her mum to hand out leaflets. She tells us: "The first excuse she gave was that it was raining and she didn't want to get her hair wet, then because she needed to buy some slippers from M&S, needed to look for jigsaw puzzles in charity shops, wanted a coffee, needed a wee, wanted to look at a garden, the news was on, it was Saturday, It was Sunday..."

Horse sense

IBROX back on football duty after its Commonwealth Games stint. Inevitable shout by fan as a player skied the ball over the bar: "Hey it's no' the Rugby Sevens noo!" And Celtic's reprieve in the European Championships: Writer Greg Hemphill opined: "Celtic obviously knew about the ineligible player and just took it easy. Hence the horsing. It all makes sense now."

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