ACTOR Rupert Everett, speaking at the Edinburgh Book Festival about his second volume of memoirs, Vanished Years, talked about his big break in Glasgow in the 1970s at the Citizens Theatre.
Recalling the Glasgow audiences, Rupert said: "Provided the play ended at 10:20 when the last bus left, the audience really enjoyed themselves. However, if the show ran on even a minute late, the audience would still get up at 10:20 - and you could hear the clatter, clatter, clatter of their seats as they left."
Fool circle?
MEANWHILE at the Edinburgh Fringe, the play Devil in the Deck, about a smooth-talking grifter, has been criticised by local magicians for revealing how a complex card trick is done. As Paul Nathan from the show magically put it: "We have run into a bit of controversy from the local magic community. They are grumpy that we reveal how one of our tricks is done. However they are also grumpy because they don't have girlfriends, social skills, or sunshine."
Baying for blood?
DAVID Kelso noticed a car with a German registration plate, towing a caravan, which pulled into the supermarket car park at Brodick on Arran and parked across nine parking bays. A local going past just couldn't resist the racial stereotype by telling David: "Makes a change from using beach towels."
Chaos theory
WE like it when Fringe performers come up against real life. Comedian Fraser Millward, appearing at Just The Tonic, was dressed as a coach driver for a Fringe photo shoot at the bus station, where his crew told the security guard they were shooting an advertisement for a bus company. As Fraser told the photographer: "Let's make it look a bit frantic and chaotic," the security guard merely observed: "Is chaos a good advertisement?"
Old trick
READER Alan Pearson, who is in his seventies, tells us: "I just had a trim at the barber's where the girl asked for the full amount. I enquired about the pensioner's rate. 'Oh,' she said, 'I didn't think you were a senior'. As I paid and tipped, and went to the door feeling rejuvenated, one local said, 'Aye the lassie gets a lot o' tips sayin' that'."
Night and daze
GLASGOW schools are just back, but already a modern languages teacher tells us she told a new class that once they started dreaming in French it would be a sign that they were really absorbing the language.
The next day a pupil cheerily announced that in his dream the night before everyone was speaking French.
"What were they saying?" asked the delighted teacher.
"Don't know," he replied. "I couldn't understand them."
Upgrade due
THE new film about Apple boss Steve Jobs, starring Anton Kutcher, has had a series of bad reviews from the critics. But as one Apple fan tells us: "Don't worry. There will be a better version released in just six months time."
Gram reaper
THE Carloway cattle show on the island of Lewis also had a baking contest where the judges were in deep discussion about whether one entry qualified as baking or should be in the "other" category. It was pakora, showing how international even the far corners of Scotland are becoming.
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