POLITICS, and Edinburgh Tory councillor Alastair Paisley tells us there is much debate about Scots living in England not being allowed to vote in the independence referendum.
"Someone worked out," he tells us, "that nine of the 11 players in the Scottish international football team won't be able to vote.
"But not to worry – they're not able to put a cross in the box anyway."
ROBERT BENNIE wondered if someone at Sky was trying to make a political point when he had the subtitles on Sky News, and the destroyer sent to the Falklands to scare off the Argentinians, HMS Dauntless, was described, no doubt by a computer spell-checker, as "HMS Pointless".
Some mouse steak?
AN EDINBURGH reader noticed a city chip shop that had to display a notice in its window from health inspectors detailing an infestation of mice discovered on the premises. No doubt the notice was ordered by health inspectors as a deterrent. But our reader wonders how effective it was.
Someone else had taped a notice to the outside of the window on which they had written: "Who cares about mice? I dinnae go tae a chippy tae get healthy."
Noising them up
STARTING a six-part series on the BBC last night was Clydebank stand-up comedian Kevin Bridges, whose shows at the SECC were the fastest-selling in recent history.
Kevin has now left his parents' home in Clydebank and moved to his own place just a few miles away in Glasgow's West End. Returning to his new flat a few weeks ago he was puzzled to hear his own voice booming from his neighbour's flat.
He worked out that the neighbour was playing the DVD of Kevin's stand-up show, so Kevin knocked on the door to complain about the racket.
NEWS reaches us from Bermuda where Ian Hind tells us about the Burns Supper there. Says Ian: "One of our 'international' guests remarked with surprise, after the invoking of the Immortal Memory, that there was no mention of Burns having tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament.
"We had to tell him, 'Wrong country, wrong century, wrong Guy'."
DAN Parks has retired from international rugby after being the Scottish player criticised the most after our defeat to England in the Calcutta Cup.
Curiously, points out Ross McKay, if you Google Dan Parks, the one who comes up the most after the rugby player is the American singer whose band coincidentally is called The Blame
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