GLASGOW author Ian Mitchell, researching his latest book, Encounters in the American Mountain West – A Sinner Amongst the Latter-Day Saints, found himself one day in Pinedale, Wyoming.
Looking for a place to stay, he drove around and eventually, down a set of dusty backstreets with clapboard houses and wrecked cars, found a motel. It was midday, and no-one was around.
He rang the bell and a rather slatternly woman appeared, saying: "Youwanna room? Sixty dollars a night, in advance. Idennification?"
Ian duly handed over his passport, which said on the front, in unmistakeable English, United Kingdom. Flicking through it, she noted his place of residence. "Glasgow? That's in Germany, ain't it?" adding, "That room on the corner. Lock your door. Don't answer it at night."
Concludes Ian: "In Pinedale, possessing a British passport and talking in English apparently meant you were German."
Personally, I'd have been more worried about the order not to answer the door at night.
Straight to the top
WE know the Maryhill Magyars, current First Division leaders, are good, but surely not this good. Foster Evans spotted a scoreline running along the foot of Sky Sports News: "Partick 7-0 Scottish Second Division."
"The Jags beating the whole of the second division?" asks Foster, the admiration evident in his voice.
DEPartment of We Know What They Meant: A BBC Scotland website report referred to Sir Willie Haughey, chairman of City Refrigeration, as a "fridge magnate". Thanks to Irene Reid for sending us the link.
Smoke and mirrors
THIS just in, from Michèle Newall. "Just wondering if anyone else noticed the Jet2 spokesman, commenting on last week's emergency evacuation at Glasgow airport due to smoke in the aircraft's cabin, is named Mr Doubtfire?"
Doesn't add up
THOUGHT for the day: if you live at number 667, does that make you a neighbour of the beast?
WE like this one-liner from comedian Milton Jones. "One Christmas, Elisha Otis, the inventor of the elevator, popped in on my great grandfather," he says. "Yes, he gave everyone a huge lift."
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