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Cruise control?

THE pictures of flooding on the news remind Arlene Crawford of a similar scene in Paisley a few years ago when a wee wummin rescued by rubber dinghy from her flooded street by Strathclyde Fire Brigade told a news crew: "Ah went tae see a medium last week and she telt me ah wiz gonny go oan a cruise.

"Never telt me it wid be up ma ain street."

Off pitch

LEONARD Bisset in Thornliebank reads the latest football news and remarks: "Motherwell's Rapid Bucharest friendly off – waterlogged pitch. Inverness's match off – waterlogged pitch.

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