AMERICAN politician Hillary Clinton will be at St Andrews University this weekend to receive an honorary degree.
So a group of students have written inviting her to their housewarming party in the town's Queen's Gardens to give her a true feel for the town.
We like their explanation about party etiquette as their letter explains: "We have officially stated that the party will begin at 9pm, although we would not at all be offended if you elected to arrive more around 10.30pm - everybody does that anyway, which is why we set the start time so early."
Being students, the letter adds: "BYOB".
False-teeth alarm
NOSTALGIA alert. Our request for tenement tales leads to one reader telling us about a couple in Clydebank during the Clydebank Blitz exiting from their top-floor tenement flat to go to the air raid shelter.
When they reached the bottom of the stairs, the wife told her husband: "I'll need to go back up - I've left ma teeth."
Disabusing her, hubby replied: "It's bombs they're droppin' - no aipples."
Knock, knock...
AND the tenement stories allow Andy Cameron to tell us: "We used to play a game in the tenements called CDRA (Chap Door Run Away). Nowadays it's called Parcel Force."
Costume drama
IT'S a business being a Herald photographer at the events being covered for the newspaper's Social pages on a Tuesday.
Our man at a black-tie do last week asked two women who were chatting if he could take their picture together. "No!" they immediately chorused.
As our snapper looked confused one of the women took pity on a mere man and patiently explained to him: "We're wearing the same dress."
Loss leader
SCOTTISH Premiership club Hibs announced yesterday that it had made a £100,000 profit - the first time it has been in profit for three years. "That's what happens," explains our football man in the capital, "when you don't have to pay any win bonuses."
Shared wisdom
IT'S been a difficult time recently for parents sending their little ones to nursery for the first time. A reader passing one such establishment heard a mum telling her crying infant: "You have to share the playground."
Lost causes
ONE of Glasgow's more unusual tour dates is a visit in October of a relic of St Anthony, the patron saint of people who lose things. The piece of petrified cheek skin will attract thousands of visitors, it is claimed.
Folk pray to St Anthony when they lose stuff like car keys and often the keys later turn up. We do like the religious institution in America which makes the most of St Anthony's finding abilities - it sells golf balls with a picture of the saint stamped on them.
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