FUNNY how the meaning of words changes over the generations.
A Newton Mearns grandfather was recalling his schooldays to the family, and told of the boy in his class who annoyed the teacher "and was hung-up by his braces on the hook on the back of the door".
An astonished grandchild asked: "That must have been so sore. Did his teeth break?"
THAT reminds us of parents boasting about how tough their lives were compared to those of their children. Maxine Jones, who had a one-woman show at the Edinburgh Fringe, once recalled that when she was growing up in the affluent south-east of England she asked her mum if she could join the Brownies.
Her mum, who was brought up in a cobbled street of back-to-back houses in the factory town of Salford, near Manchester, replied: "We stoned Brownies where I come from."
Any more tough upbringings?
SCOTTISH-BASED power company SSE must be short of a bob or two after sponsoring theitstheir prices up by more than 8%. As Tom Jamieson commented: "So tempted to turn the heating on today, but can hear everyone at the energy company quietly chuckling every time I approach the dial."
GLASGOW-BORN Hilary Brooks, musical director of the stage play Sunshine on Leith, is launching an album of music for two grand pianos with Karen MacIver at Glasgow's Cottier Theatre tomorrow night. Helped by a bottle of wine the two ladies tried to think of a name for their collaboration. Under Lock and Key was considered - a reference to their hair and the piano keys; Twenty Regal Tipped - an admittedly-obscure reference to their piano playing fingers, and the Paul McCartney inspired Ovary and Ivory.
Sadly, or fortunately, they decided instead to call their duet PianoPiano.
Costing a packet
SENDING staff for messages continued. Recalls Ian Craig in Strathaven: "A colleague sent an underling to the Post Office with a £20 note and a small parcel,with instructions to buy first class stamps and also post the parcel. Sometime later my colleague asked said underling where his stamps were. 'On the parcel,' came the reply."
HOW soon they forget. Education Secretary Michael Russell tweeted yesterday that he had a "good visit to Cardonald College". Staff thought that was a tad ironic, as it was Mr Russell who abolished Cardonald College by pushing through its merger with Anniesland and Langside to form Glasgow Clyde College earlier this year. But perhaps he didn't have enough characters left to type Glasgow Clyde so used the old name instead.
News in brief
THREE-WORD jokes. Angus Macmillan suggests: "Scots cuisine? Mince."
And when we were still at five-word jokes, George Crawford in West Kilbride told us the sweet one: "My late dad's favourite joke was 'Honeymooners' salad - let us alone'."
And Tony Sykes puts the pressure on by taking us down to two words. "Pretentious? Moi?"
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