IT'S the public sector strike today, and reader Frank Reilly ponders: "When the Government decides we can have a day off for the royal wedding, it doesn't damage the economy.
But when the workers decide to strike for a day it costs the UK economy half a billion. Is there something funny going on?"
ST ANDREW'S Day as well, when many Burns clubs hold dinners almost as a warm-up to the January occasion. Matt Vallance in Ayrshire recalls the late Kilmarnock Sheriff RN Levitt speaking at a local St Andrew's dinner. He stated that when he first arrived in Kilmarnock the trades people all lived above their premises. "Today," he continued, "they all live in Troon – above their income."
MONSOON conditions across Scotland, and David Russell in Penicuik was driving on the rain-lashed M8 in Glasgow when the overhead sign should have read: "Caution. Surface water" but instead read: "Caution surf".
"Now the tide was in, and the Clyde was quite breezy," says David, "but Malibu it wasn't."
Spot of bother
WE hear about the two chaps trying to gain entrance to a students-only club night in Glasgow when the steward asked: "Have you got anything to prove you're students?"
"Acne and Pot Noodles," one of them replied.
"In ye come boys," replied the amused steward.
CURRENT television programmes were being discussed in a Glasgow bar the other night where one ageing regular declared: "I'm so old, I remember when X Factor was Roman sunscreen."
No time wasters
PUNNING plumbers continued. Dundee MP Jim McGovern, himself a time-served glazier, tells us of a fellow window fitter named Daly whose van bore the legend: "Don't dilly dally, dial Daly."
Time stands still
OUR tales of laid-back Highlanders remind Alastair Hendry in Greenock of his pal's car breaking down in the west Highlands and it being towed to a local garage for repairs. When the chap asked when it would be ready, the owner thought for some time, then told him: "Two wee whilies."
Rip up the rule book
A READER tells us his wife returned from her golf club this week with the latest edition of the Rules of Golf which is over 200 pages long. It reminds him of the late great golf commentator Henry Longhurst who once stated: "The rules of golf should be able to be written on the back of a packet of Craven A cigarettes."
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