Drink up

Diary Editor

Monday 2 January 2012

Whatever resolutions you have made over the last couple of days, we're here for you.

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Our only word of warning would be that you really do have to think a resolution through before making it and check whether the people about you will let you down.

One embarrassed reader has told us about her resolution last year to give up wine for a month. It was all going terribly well until she invited her husband's straight-laced, non-drinking parents for dinner.

As the meal was served, the in-laws cooed over the reader's young daughter who was just learning to speak. The reader poured some juice for her daughter and then sat down to eat. "And mummy's wine," said the girl.Promises, promises ...AS for our own resolutions at The Diary, we told you last time that the only one was to watch less Come Dine with Me. But we've thought of other things we really must resolve to do in 2012. Firstly: never, under any circumstances, even when trying to impress someone much younger than us, use the letters LOL. Secondly, answer that lovely man from Nigeria. He keeps emailing us about that money he wants to deposit in our account and we still haven't replied. Poor man, the least we can do is help. And finally, a silly one, just a little joke really: to drink less and eat healthily. Pass the remoteThe news that prison vans are to be fitted with flat-screen televisions in an attempt to calm prisoners down intrigued Scott Macintosh but he wondered if it wouldn't just lead to new arguments about which channel to watch. Warm welcomeThe haikus are still coming. First, this one from Jim Young, who's from Edinburgh, which means it's OK: Whit's this Tea Party,When all Edinburgh knows you'll have hadYir Tea Party.Having the last laughThat story we told you the other day about the new Ernie Wise book, and the moment the duo walked off the stage at the end of their show at the Glasgow Empire to not one solitary clap, inspired a few of you to get in touch and tell us about the occasions when the comedians get their own back. George Morrison was at a gig at the Lemon Tree in Aberdeen that was being badly heckled by one loud man in the audience. Stupidly, perhaps, the man went to the toilet which is when the comic got his revenge by getting the entire audience to move one seat up.And we're impressed by the bravery of Ms Jo Brand, pictured, who was having a spot of bother with a Glasgow audience. "Oh for God's sake," she said. "Who won at Culloden anyway?"

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Drink up

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