BBC commentator Sue Barker surprisingly described Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson as the First Minister of Scotland during coverage of Andy Murray's Wimbledon final yesterday.
"Mind you, I've heard worse suggestions," commented many a Diary reader.
TALKING of Sir Alex, he was telling the sporting press recently that he would like to bring in one or two new faces to Man U before the start of the season.
The story going around is that when Wayne Rooney heard this, he asked if he could have one of them.
Wet, wet, wet...
HIGHLIGHTS from Scotland's great outdoor music event T in the Park were on the telly at the weekend. As one veteran attendee told us: "If you weren't there then you can create the atmosphere in your own home. Simply watch the highlights while wearing wellies and sitting in an overflowing bath."
STRANGE customer requests – assistant Anne Morrison in a Glasgow sports emporium, Greaves, was asked by a customer if they stocked football pumps with needle adaptors.
When she confirmed they did, he asked if he could borrow one. Not expecting a game to kick off in the store, she asked why he merely wished a temporary loan instead of a purchase, and he replied that he wished to clean out the wax in his hearing aid.
Alas on this occasion his request fell on deaf ears.
A READER sheltering from the rain at Central Station's canopy in Glasgow was told by a fellow grim-faced rain-shelterer: "Even Gene Kelly would have stopped flippin' singin' by now."
MANY firms exhort their staff to greet customers with a smile. But as Gordon Berry in Ayr observes: "I happened to be passing the rear door of a supermarket when an employee came out and I was able to see on the back of the door a large poster with two words of exhortation to staff, 'Smile', 'Greet'.
"I just wished they'd make up their mind."
"A LARGE roll of bubble wrap arrived in the office and I asked the boss what to do with it," said the young office assistant.
"He said, 'Just pop it in the corner.'
"Took me two hours."
Drawing a line
"THE electronic equipment being tried out for goal-line technology will not be used at Rangers games next season," a Celtic fan phones to tell us.
When we asked why, he replied: "Apparently it doesn't work with goalposts made from jumpers."
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