WE didn't see much humour from the No side in the referendum.

But Alan Stephen on the south side of Glasgow tells us: "A young lady walking through George Square in the afternoon was accosted by an excited flag-waving Yes supporter, and when asked 'where are all the No supporters then?' replied with a smile, 'They're all out working'."

Jobs for the Moyes

LOTS of excitement in Scotland over the Ryder Cup starting today. Those cheeky chaps at Irish bookmakers Paddy Power reacted to Sir Alex Ferguson giving the European team a morale-boosting chat by putting on their website a picture of his brief replacement as Manchester United manager, Glasgow's David Moyes. They have David speaking in a phone with the alleged conversation: "Hi there. This the Yanks? Moysie here. You guys need a team talk? Pretty sure I'm free this week. Hello? Hello?"

Makes you wanna shout

WE always like a clever insult. A Glasgow reader hears a chap in the pub tell his pal on a visit from down south: "You've lived in England so long, Lulu has a better accent than you."

Politics is just as bad. Scottish Labour leader Johann Lamont is under a bit of pressure with Labour MPs muttering anonymously that they would rather have Jim Murphy in charge. Or it could have been Jim Murphy muttering that, we're not sure. But we pass on the cruel put-down by Sean Bell who remarked: "Every time I see Johann Lamont in action, I'm reminded there's a Scotmid somewhere without an assistant manager."

Acting up

SIGNS you are growing old, continued. As Gary Bainbridge puts it: "I've reached the age where I don't know on gig posters which is the name of the act, and which is the name of the venue."

I'll get my coat

WE'VE mentioned before folk who have a bit of fun when they review products on the Amazon website. A reader passes on a review from a chap who bought a coat rack and posted: "It's a nice enough looking coat rack. It certainly does hold things. I don't know, there's just something missing. When I come home and hang my jacket on it, I don't feel satisfied. When I bought this coat rack I thought maybe I could eventually overcome my drinking problem, then Sharon would come back to me. But no. Instead she's with Steve. I hate Steve. And this coat rack is just a painful reminder that I'm going to die alone. Three stars because my shoes fit underneath it."

Cup of cheer

FOLK are still amused by David Cameron's faux pas claiming that the Queen purred on the phone. As Oldfirmfacts said on Twitter yesterday: "David Cameron claims St Johnstone boss Tommy Wright 'purred down the line' when he told him they'd drawn Rangers in the League Cup."

Qualified faker

A COLLEAGUE wanders over to interrupt us with: "Did you know I'm a professional counterfeiter? I have the diplomas to prove it."

Jump around

A DAFT gag? Says John Park from Motherwell: "I replaced our double bed with a trampoline, but forgot to tell the wife. She nearly hit the roof."