READER Eric Flack says he had a "senior moment" yesterday which has meant he now has to shop in another supermarket.
"The checkout girl said 'Strip down, facing me!'" he says.
"I forgot she was referring to my credit card ..."
WE can only hope television commissioning editors have been reading readers' suggestions for post-independence TV shows in Scotland.
James Fraser suggests Re-Bus - a documentary looking at the possibility of removing the trams from Edinburgh. Or perhaps, in a similar vein, a documentary looking at the scoundrels who overcharged the capital's residents for repairs? Its title - the Ex-Factor.
A change of channels
JIM McDonald, on the other hand, is convinced he's on to a winner with Call the Wife! - a series about a man who has been arrested and who wants his wife not to worry about him.
Or there's Westenders - a weekly soap centring on the people who live in a street off Byres Road and their obsession with the interlinked politics of the university, the art galleries, the BBC and the community council.
"IF BBC Scotland was worth its salt," reckons David Donaldson, "it would already be making programmes like Springburn Watch - fascinating footage of life in north-east Glasgow taken from local CCTV cameras."
David also offers The Weakest Rink. Hosted by Susan Calman, it adds excitement to traditional curling by publicly mocking and humiliating the losers.
More tomorrow. A quick reminder that there's a dinner for two at the Urban Bar and Brasserie in Glasgow for the best entry.
Sweet 'n' sour
SPEAKING of Susan Calman, the comedian tweeted late on Christmas Day: "Had too much pavlova. The Glasgow Coma Scale will be required when this sugar kicks in." We feel your pain, Susan.
THE Diary will be careful to avoid a certain Glasgow hotel bar the next time it has had a few drinks, if this comment on the Trip Advisor website is any guide: "The bar staff did try to charge me £13.50 for two Cokes and two waters (probably seeing I was a bit boozy) ,however dropped it to £7.50 when I questioned the price. A small thing," our friend adds, "but keep an eye out!"
It's a crock
POSSIBLY an old one, but it still made us laugh. We overheard a couple of fans yesterday on their way to a Boxing Day game.
They were discussing one luckless player who is prone to injury. "See him?" said one. "That **** would get injured on A Question of Sport."
Sea bass … see dinner
TAILS of the Unexpected. John Keeper says his daughter's Christmas Eve dinner was marred slightly. She'd bought four sea bass from a Glasgow fishmonger's as her brother and his wife were arriving from Paris. At home she opened her purchase - and found, not four sea-bass, but a large salmon head and tail. "They enjoyed a dinner of excellent vegetables," said John.
We moderate all comments on HeraldScotland on either a pre-moderated or post-moderated basis. If you're a relatively new user then your comments will be reviewed before publication and if we know you well and trust you then your comments will be subject to moderation only if other users or the moderators believe you've broken the rules
Moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours. Please be patient if your posts are not approved instantly.