The H1N1 swine flu vaccine should not be taken if you are allergic to eggs as the vaccine is produced in chicken eggs and thus contains traces of egg protein.
This fact was not known to the elderly lady overheard on a Glasgow bus this week who told her pal it was odd that her doc, giving the swine flu jab, asked if she was allergic to eggs.
“I mean,” she went on, “what’s that to do with pigs? They don’t have eggs.”
Her pal pondered this conundrum for a few moments before coming up with the solution: “Ah but, you eat bacon with eggs. That must be the connection.”
And, thus, with the medical problem solved, the conversation turned to the weather.
Tensing up
OUR story about pub quiz team names reminds Ian Grant of Clarkston of being in one such team which called themselves Sherpa after the name of a yacht owned by one of the team members – not the average pub team, then, we suspect.
The yacht owner said it had won a few races which would be a good omen.
Sadly, they were toiling after a few rounds which allowed the chap at the next table to opine: “Aye, you’ve got a mountain to climb now!”
Hear hear
“I don’t like karaoke,” declared the chap in the pub the other night. “If I wanted to hear a drunken, shrieking version of an Amy Winehouse song, I’d go to an Amy Winehouse concert.”
On the treadmill
AS we survey the wet streets and await the colder weather of December, a reader reminds us of the employee who arrived an hour late for work one winter’s morning and explained to his boss that it was so slippery outside that for every step forward he took, he slipped two back.
“Is that so?” replied his suspicious boss. “Then how did you ever get here?”
“I gave up and started for home,” replied the tardy worker.
Nothing in it
A SPORTS fan notices that the manager of League Two contenders Bury is an Alan Knill and he wonders: “Surely as a football fan Mr Knill was tempted to call his son Juan.”
You’d better believe it
THE Herald news story about claims that sectarianism still existed in the workplace reminds Willie Gibson of the speaker at Grangemouth Golf Club recently who declared that the definition of an atheist in Glasgow was someone who went to a Rangers v Celtic game just to watch the football.
Knowledge economy
A LIBRARIAN swears to us that a teenager came in, looked at the 24-volume encyclopaedia behind her, and asked what it was.
When she explained, he replied: “Really? And someone printed out the whole thing?”
Bare-faced cheek
ISLAY whisky Bunnahabhain, doing some research in the run-up to St Andrew’s Day, notes that Andrew, pictured, is not only the patron saint of Scotland but also of, among others, gout sufferers and single ladies.
In fact, say the whisky people, German folklore advises single women to sleep naked on the night before St Andrew’s Day, as they’ll see their future husband in their dreams.
“Best not to do this if sleeping on a plane, bus or train,” the Bunnahabhain lady added helpfully.
