SCOTS can be a boastful lot, but a reader was surprised by the boast she heard in one of Berlin's large department stores.
Waiting to buy something delicious in its renowned food hall, she heard a Scottish voice behind her declare to a companion: "There's a better choice of cheeses in Airdrie than there is here."
SAD to see that Miller's Art Shop in Glasgow is facing closure. It has been a haven for the city's art students for generations. A former member of staff tells us that students frequently sent their mothers in at the start of term to buy their art supplies as a) it saved them getting out of bed and b) their mothers coughed up for the bill. One mother had such a lengthy list that she simply handed it over to a member of staff who read through it before shouting over to a colleague: "Where do we keep the condoms?"
Sign of the times
ANOTHER shopper at Miller's was gangland murderer Jimmy Boyle, who wrote his book A Sense of Freedom while in Barlinnie's Special Unit, where he took up art. While still in jail he was taken to Miller's on day release with a prison officer to pick up supplies. A staff member asked him to sign a copy of his book which she had with her, and she gushed: "I bet you're always been asked to sign it."
"Not where I'm staying, no," replied Jimmy.
A REUNION dinner is being organised for former pupils of the remote Rannoch boarding school in Perthshire. Organiser Martin Hunt of Tartan Silk PR, recalls that the self-sufficient school even had its own ambulance and on one occasion he was helping the headmaster drive a boy with a broken leg in it to hospital.
Says Martin: "I expected a high-speed dash but the reality was somewhat different as the elderly ambulance trundled towards Pitlochry. We eventually came up behind a tractor and the headmaster said with great urgency: 'Bell, Hunt, bell' and I clanged the old-fashioned bell so that the tractor driver eventually pulled over. The remaining journey saw everyone else sail past us with ease."
A READER flying up from London to Glasgow heard the bored young chap sitting next to him say to his pal: "I dare you to go up to the stewardess when we're getting off, and whisper to her, 'I had my phone on the whole time'."
Train of thought
READER Iain Todd says the award for the most boring computer game must surely go to the launch of the Glasgow to Edinburgh train simulator which features scenarios such as "Drive an evening express service, and remember to stop at the correct platform positions to ensure all coaches are within the platform limits. Finally, stable your train (a 6-car Class 170/4 formation) at Haymarket Depot."
He believes a true simulation should include "how many times can we apologise for the late running of the train?" and "how many passengers can you fit into two carriages at peak time?"
SOME English fans have criticised the football authority's decision to sell 18,000 tickets to Polish fans for the England v Poland game at the new Wembley stadium. But one English fan was more understanding. "Fair enough," he told us. "They built it after all."
Hamming it up?
STRANGE are the calls we get at the Diary. "I used to be addicted to raw meat," says one caller, who then adds before hanging up: "But now it's cured."
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