WELL there really was only one major topic on social media yesterday. As Edinburgh-based stand-up Jo Caulfield put it: "I hope everyone on Twitter does the right thing tomorrow... and buys my CD from iTunes. Eh? What election?"

READER Chris Keegan in Baillieston reads The Herald sports headline yesterday "Club ties are promotion motivation, says Miller" and is heartened in those days of big salaries at Rangers, that players can gee themselves up simply in the hope of being presented with something to put around their neck.

SAD to hear that Errol Brown, the siky-voiced singer with Hot Chocolate has died. Errol once explained that their biggest hit You Sexy Thing was actually released as the B-side - remember them - of a single called Blue Night which flopped. Then in America a bored DJ turned the record over, played the B-side and raved about it. The record company quickly re-released it with You Sexy Thing as the A-side and it was a smash hit. Funny old thing, success.

MORE on this month's school exams as a teacher confides in us: "I like to meet my pupils coming out of the maths exams with, 'How did you get on? Did you check your answers?'

"When they look confused, I say that the answers are always at the end of the exam, just like they are at the back of the textbook. Never fails!"

A READER swears to us that while having a beer in a bar in Essex he heard a young girl tell her pal: "Look at that, the girl's name Chardonnay is now so popular they're naming wines after it."

OLDER folk can often bring some sense to a situation. A South Side reader says the family were visiting grandfather when the Skittles advertisement came on the television where the poor office worker sees everything he touch turn into Skittles. Our reader's children were telling grand-dad how funny it was when the old chap asked: "So why isn't he working in a Skittles factory?"

FOLK can get flustered with waiters. A reader in a Glasgow restaurant heard a waiter ask the girl at the next table if she wanted water. When she said she did, the waiter presumably wanted to know if she wanted still or sparkling, but simply asked: "What type?" Suddenly confused the girl replied: "Em, diet?"

A GROUP of topers in a Glasgow bar the other night were discussing how honest they should be with their wives. One drinker said you should be careful about how honest you should be and declared: "I once told mine her dress made her look really frumpy. Even the minister took her side."

WELL have you voted yet? John Holt sums it up for us by passing on: "I'm voting for whoever puts the most leaflets through the door. So far Ali's Kebab House is leading by a mile."