THE ongoing travails at Ibrox have prompted this rather nice tweet from stand-up comedian Jo Caulfield: "Excited!

Only three more sleeps until it's my turn to be non-executive Chairman at Rangers."

READER Donald Grant tells us it was hard getting over his addiction to the Hokey Cokey during the festive season but that he has managed to turn himself around, and that's what it is all about ...

SCOTLAND'S tough new drink-drive alcohol limit has been making headlines. Denny GP Ken McLean reports: "At this time of year one of the fun parts of being a GP has been to ask youngsters about what they had intended leaving for Santa and his reindeers.

"This year every child said Santa was to get a drink of milk. No longer the sherry or whisky. These new laws seem to have reached as far as Lapland."

READER John Mulholland's teenage daughter received a tweet from her friend on Christmas Day - "Going to Calvary for dinner with family." John still hasn't worked out whether the family was celebrating Easter radically early or the daughter's predictive text had gone quietly haywire.

AND on the theme of young people and modern technology, Phyllis Strachan reports that her five year-old granddaughter received a telephone call from Santa to say she was on the "good list".

Her parents said to her how amazing it was that Santa had called her at home, to which she replied, sagely, 'No, it's amazing that he got a signal from the North Pole.'

Changed days indeed, as Phyllis says.

A COUPLE of Diary acquaintances got selfie sticks for Christmas, but some people remain sceptical about the devices. As some Aussie bloke tweeted yesterday: "I don't need a selfie stick because I have what is called an 'arm',"

AN interesting overheard conversation, at Inchinnan Community Club, on Boxing Day afternoon.

One bloke said: "My brother has been working in Hamleys toy store in Glasgow recently as Santa Claus." Someone else asked him: "Was it just a seasonal job?"

"Aye," said the first bloke. "I think it finished yesterday." True story, says Diary reader Jim Morrison.

ANDY Cumming has come up with some entries for our remarkably persistent festive film contest.

Among them: The Frying Game (life in a Glasgow chippy)

Mend It like Beckham (Victoria takes on some dress repairs to help pay the bills)

Top Nun (the Mother Teresa story)

My Sister's Keeker (female sibling comes home with a black eye)

Raving Private Ryan (soldier hits the Savoy for a wee dance).

SPEAKING of the contest, Bill Cassidy asks whether Ken Smith and I would jointly produce and direct a new film based on the winning entry. Our instinctive reaction is to decline, but Bill insists: "After all, Ken Russell was a great film director." Thanks, Bill, but as is painfully evident, we have enough problems just doing the Diary.

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THIS is one estate agent's name that is hard to forget. Spotted in Newport, Wales, by Garry Scott.