NEW Zealand comic Jarred Christmas is appearing at Glasgow's Drygate venue tonight.

We remember Jarred appearing at the Edinburgh Fringe where he explained to the audience that Christmas was indeed his real name. "The worst time," he explained, "was the teacher who insisted on reading out the surnames in the register and wanting everyone to answer 'Present'. Always raised a laugh when it came to me."

A READER in Rhu spots The Herald news story about a police superintendent disciplined for not wearing the proper footwear in the office. Our reader wondered if he had taken over the nickname of the detective who was famous for trying to arrest Ronnie Biggs - Slipper of the Yard.

DUNDEE United fans are still hurting after the club sold two of their best stars to Celtic in the January transfer window. It hasn't helped them that the large advertising space on the side of one of their stands has been sold to Morrison's supermarket who have put up a giant poster with the large headline "Big January sale".

FOSTER Evans tells us about a conversation on the Reddit social networking site about misunderstandings, where a chap explained: "When I was young my father said to me 'Knowledge is power - Francis Bacon'. I understood it as 'Knowledge is Power, France is Bacon'. For more than a decade I wondered over the meaning of the second part. Someone might say, 'Knowledge is Power' and I'd finish the quote, France is bacon' and they wouldn't look at me as if I'd said something odd. It wasn't until years later that I saw it written down and the penny dropped."

WE bump into John Sword who worked at the old Glasgow Meat Market in Duke Street who recalled one butcher who was not having a good year because of a recession. His teenage son, just before his birthday, suggested to his dad: "I've got my eye on a bike in a shop window down in Duke Street."

"Well keep your eye on it," said his tightfisted dad, "as you certainly won't be getting your backside on it."

RANGERS fans are still trying to digest the news that manager Kenny McDowall has claimed that he has been instructed to always play the five loan players brought to the club from Newcastle United. As one fan tells us: "Can't wait for the update to my computer game Football Manager where Rangers managers will only have to pick six players."

A YOUNG chap in a Glasgow pub the other night was telling his pals he was thinking of getting married, and asked the married members of the group what it was like. "A good way to prepare for marriage," replied a married pal, "is to have someone come over and pass judgement on the way you load your dishwasher."

WE end with a piece of whimsy as a reader phones to tell us: "Saw a guy walking around the supermarket with six separate baskets. I thought to myself, 'I bet he's buying eggs'."

Pic capt:

Sky news shows the difficulty of keeping up with Scottish politics if you don't venture over the border very often.