GEOFF Cross is the bearded rugby player who was in the Scotland team against Wales yesterday.

And Matthew Cross plays cricket for Scotland. As reader Thom Cross tells us: "I am delighted to see the clan Cross doing well in sport, but being a Cross and in sports does have its challenges. I remember playing as a centre-forward in football, with just the goalie to beat and the jannie/trainer bawled out 'Shoot, Cross!' Being flummoxed I hesitated, and missed my big chance to play for Raith Rovers' fourth team."

A GROUP of pals in a Glasgow pub were surprised to see their mate turn up on Saturday night. "I thought you were going to a house-warming party?" One of them asked.

"I did," the chap replied. "Arrived at the house, turned up the thermostat in the hall, then came here."

READER John Mulholland sees the BBC sports headline "Lambert sacked after losing streak" and thinks to himself: "Hard to believe that the Celtic legend and Aston Villa manager lost his job for failing to win a naked race."

THE PRIME Minister's suggestion that people with obesity, alcohol or drug problems should have their benefits cuts if they don't seek treatment, has angered a few readers. "Presumably David Cameron will also recommend withdrawal of expenses for overweight politicians?" asked one.

But another reader in London heard a chap in his local pub declare: "Cameron's really got it in for the Scots since they almost voted for independence."

VERY sad to hear of the death of former Daily Record chief reporter Gordon Airs who was so well respected in the industry. I remember former safe-cracker Paddy Meehan, one of Scotland's most famous victims of courtroom injustice, being bundled into the back of a van after being freed from court by Gordon and his Daily Record team.

When they finally pulled up at a remote hotel, far from the rest of the press, Paddy told Gordon: "Even the polis never treated me as roughly as that."

Incidentally, after a night of boozing at the hotel Paddy staggered to his room and glanced at the large safe in the manager's office. The manager, who had been listening to him recount his tales of larceny, quickly told him: "Honest - there's nothing in it."

"It's OK. Just looking," replied Meehan as he tottered off.

MOST of us are fed up already with all the Fifty Shades of Grey references following the release of the film, which it has to be said sounds a bit dull. We will just leaver the apt comment of Bruce Skivington who says: "If you want to see fifty shades of grey for free, just watch the passengers coming off the Cal-Mac Stornoway ferry on a rough day."

VALENTINE'S Day at the weekend of course. A reader tells us: "It's the only day of the year I can buy flowers in the local florist without the guy behind the counter saying to me, 'So what have you done this time?'"

A COLLEAGUE wanders over to confess: "Watched an hour of the Embarrassing Bodies episode featuring a fat bloke sitting on a sofa. then realised the TV hadn't been switched on."

Pic capt:

The Californian town of Hayward comes up with a more modern warning sign at a road crossing.