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Diary Editor

Monday 26 December 2011

SO how many book lovers out there got an electronic reader for Christmas?

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Ken Smith

Sharon Mars tells us: "I recently bought my dad a Kindle for his birthday. He loves to read and I thought he would find it really useful.

"I dropped in to see him, and asked whether he'd started using it yet.

"He had indeed, but not in the way Amazon intended. It was lodged inside one of his books – being used as a bookmark."Currency converter"MY son asked for some Play-Doh for Christmas," a Glasgow businessman told us."So I got him a load of Euros."Big ideasAND looking ahead to 2012, a woman prays: "Dear God, my prayer for 2012 is for a fat bank account and a thin body."Please don't mix them up like you did last year."World is a stageA READER at Kilmarnock bus station watched as two unfortunates, who looked as though they would be auditioning for the next series of BBC Scotland's The Scheme, were involved in a drunken altercation with a member of staff. A chap waiting at one of the stances watching the disturbance was heard telling his travelling companion: "This place can be a cauld staun – but, you've got to admit, the street theatre is brilliant."Monster mashAS ithers see us. If you ever wondered how myths about Scotland are perpetuated, a reader passes on a comment by Glasgow-born comedian Craig Ferguson, now a late-night presenter on American television. He told his audience last week: "I grew up in Scotland in the 1970s. There wasn't much money. The most popular Christmas toy was probably a potato."Lying gameDUNDEE West MP Jim McGovern was presented with an award by Remploy, the company that helps disabled workers, for his support. Unfortunately Jim's office car park had not been gritted, and the Remploy chap's car slid into the back of Jim's car, shunting it into the car park wall.Jim was still chuffed with the award, but it does of course remind us of the gag about the farmer who came across a car with five politicians which had crashed, and he buried all five of them."Were they all dead?" asked the policeman."Well, some said they weren't," replied the farmer, "but you know how politicians lie."Take coverWE asked for your Scottish haiku, and Dave Sangster penned this about a well known Scottish creature.They look like fairies,Dancing in front of your eyes –But then they bite you!

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