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Wednesday 12 September 2012

ALREADY there is talk on how Andy Murray's Grand Slam victory should be marked.

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Ken Smith

Will there be a stature erected, or a street in Dunblane named after him?

However we prefer the suggestion of one Scot who declared: "What better than to replace Ruby Murray with Andy Murray as rhyming slang for having a curry."

Winning matchWE hope the English chap who was watching the Olympic Parade and stated: "I see Andy Murray hasn't shown up. And what excuse did he have, may I ask?" now knows the answer.Picking up the piecesSCRAMBLES, and Carol Paul in Cruden Bay, Aberdeenshire, recalls: "When the daughter of friends who moved from Glasgow to Hereford in the 1950s left the house for the church, her father threw out the money from the car and shouted "'scramble!' As the car drove off he could see the bemused English neighbours still standing there on the pavement not moving."He found out later they had never seen a scramble before and had waited politely for a few minutes to see if he came back for his money before picking it up."To top it all ...NICKNAMES continued. Joan Morrison tells us of an office complex in East Kilbride where a new tenant with some housekeeping requirement was told they would have to speak to Vosene.When they asked who Vosene was, they were told: "The head cleaner."Eastern adventuresGLASGOW-BORN Andy Coogan, now 95 and living in Carnoustie, has written about being a Japanese prisoner of war in his just published book Tomorrow You Die. It is not all harrowing as Andy explains that when he joined the Lanarkshire Yeomanry they were told they were going to Port Seton. His Gorbals mother promptly burst into tears, saying, "Oh, my God. You'll get malaria there. You'll get all sort of diseases over there. Port Seton – there's Arabs there, you'll get burned alive. There are elephants and lions and tigers over there too. I'll pray for you, Andrew, I'll pray for you."She of course had never heard of the Lothian town and instead was confused with Port Said on the Suez Canal.Girl troubleBOYS can be so cruel to each other. This was confirmed by a reader on a bus into Glasgow who heard a teenage chap ask his pal: "Can I borrow your phone to give my girlfriend a bell.""Sure," replied his mate, handing his mobile over. "Just press redial."Moving onMORE on removals with Graham Richmond remembering: "When we moved from our top floor flat many years ago, the main problem was the Mini parked on the street right outside the tenement door. After a long and fruitless search for the owner the two removal men lifted the car up and moved it to a more convenient spot then moved the van into place."It would be fair to say they made light work of our boxes of books."

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