HALLOWE'EN of course tomorrow, and we feel that parents are taking it easier these days simply buying costumes rather than making them.
Mind you, Maureen Beacom in Elderslie encountered one of the simplest costumes when she opened her door to two eight-year-old girls, both inside their dad's large jumper, with their heads sticking out the top together.
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"What have you come as?" she asked. "We're conjoined twins," they chorused.
Any other strange costumes out there? And please don't tell us about the scariest costume of all - the little one who went as a gas bill.
Reed all about it
A CORRECTION that should make all Scottish fans of fast-living rocker Lou Reed smile. As the free newspaper Metro stated yesterday: "Lou Reed's obituary should have referred to his collaboration with Metallica on the album Lulu, rather than collaborations with Metallica and Lulu."
All present and incorrect
THE news story about whether religious observance should continue in schools reminds teacher Julian Smith: "At the service at the end of the winter term, the local minister conducting the service, after the blessing, concluded by wishing 'all the boys and girls a very crappy Christmas'."
A CHAP in a Glasgow pub was being asked how his teenage son was. "It's the golden year," he replied.
"What's that?" he was asked.
"It's the year when he's old enough not to need a babysitter, but too young to borrow my car," he replied.
AFTER our story about the Big Issue seller, a reader tells us of a friend, when a student, buying the magazine in Glasgow's city centre from a vendor, and as a lark stood around the corner swaying somewhat and muttering "Big Issue". A generous passer-by stopped, thrust a £20 note at him and said: "I just found this. Here, you need it more than me."
The student did try to retrace his steps and give it to the original vendor, but the chap had disappeared. Hopefully he has been buying Big Issues ever since as penance.
OUR story about the pupil being confused about what "inconsistent" meant reminds Harry Clark in Bishopbriggs of a school ski trip in the early eighties when the group was returning by train from Aviemore to Glasgow while heavy snow was falling. Says Harry: "We reached Drumochter summit and the train stopped. The guard travelled through the train announcing that it would be delayed indefinitely. 'Ah but how long fur?' a bemused pupil asked."
MEN in suits continued. Says David Martin: "Back at the beginning of the 1990s I walked into a bar in Fort William, dressed in my suit and carrying a briefcase, and was immediately given a pint of beer, offered something from the menu and taken to a seat. Then the manager asked what discounts or loans the brewery could offer.
"Sadly, I couldn't give him a thing as I was a student with Hydro Electric looking for a quick refreshment before showing the local shop workers how to operate their latest challenge, an email system."
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