WE asked for your jury service stories and a Merchant City reader tells us:
"The first thing we had to do was choose a foreman, so we quickly picked the guy who had gone to the toilet and told him when he returned."
Take a letter
A GLASGOW reader tells us she was getting all nostalgic the other day when they were removing a row of filing cabinets from her office as so many files are now computerised. It reminded her of when her boss was rummaging in the cabinets and angrily asked her: "How come the Crawford file is behind the Cooper file?"
"It's alphabetical," she replied. There was a long silence before her boss walked away muttering "M, N, O, P..." under his breath.
Beggars belief
THE website Glasgow Guide has been discussing whether begging should be made illegal on the city's streets. One member told them: "I once saw a bloke outside Greggs in Partick holding a sign saying, 'Haven't eaten in four days'. As I was going into Greggs for a chicken and mushroom slice I thought I'd get two and give the guy one of them.
"I handed the bag with the slice to the beggar and walked away. The next thing I know I got hit on the back of the head by the chicken and mushroom slice and heard the beggar cursing at me. Since then I have ignored all beggars."
We can't help thinking the chap was just an aggressive vegetarian.
High and dry
OUTRAGEOUS independence arguments, continued. An Edinburgh reader reminds us of the Fringe performer, Lee Nelson, who publicised his show about the Union, by releasing a huge balloon on which was printed: "Scottish Independence? You'll regret it when you're sober."
Poetry in motion
BURNS Night on Saturday of course. A fan of Rabbie phones to tell us: "The Chinese New Year is only six days later, so why don't we combine the two and have a Chinese Burns Night? It would begin of course by painfully twisting the arms of every guest."
Tyresome
AN angry reader phones to tell us: "What's the difference between red and green?" As we hesitate, trying to formulate an answer, he barks: "Nothing - if you're a cyclist."
Skies the limit
FRANK Smith watches the American science fiction television series Falling Skies, and wonders if the creepy-crawly alien invaders were called "Skitters" by a Scottish writer working in America who was trying to describe what would happen if you suddenly came face-to-face with the six-legged creatures.
Fascinating
A READER getting the bus into Glasgow had to agree with the young person sitting in front of him who told his pal: "Do you know, it's impossible to use the word fascinating in a conversation without sounding sarcastic."
Kelly's aye
AFTER our story about American whistleblower Edward Snowden being nominated as a candidate to be rector of Glasagow University, reader Fraser Kelly asks: "Do we actually know Mr Snowden has accepted the nomination for rector, or was it just a rumour from the NSA?"
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