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Just the ticket for gigs

GREAT excitement about Billy Connolly doing 10 nights at the Armadillo in Glasgow with the concerts already almost sold out.

Mike Ritchie has got his tickets ordered and has paid the hefty additional cost of having them delivered. He explains: "I was due to see rocker Queens of the Stone Age at the Hydro but on the evening of the gig, I hunted all over the house for my £35 ticket but couldn't find it.

"Eventually, I gave up and consoled myself with a glass of wine and a few tracks from one of the band's albums. Half way through the bottle I remembered I had opted to collect the ticket at the venue, but by then it was too late."

Bitter pill

AT last. The Commonwealth Games kick off tomorrow. James McDonald wonders if the rumour is true that Imodium has been added as a late sponsor.

Triple whammy

BACK in the Games is the triathlon which was not included last time in Delhi. Rony Bridges in Glasgow tells us: "I think I'm doing the triathlon in the Games. I've recently been told I'm for the high jump, to get on my bike, and to go take a run and jump."

There before you

MEANWHILE ScotRail has tried to get in on the act by temporarily renaming stations during the Games such as Cambuslang becoming Cambuslangjump and Springburn turned into Sprintburn. Reader David McVey thinks Diary readers could do better and adds: "Personally, to honour another Commonwealth sport, I think they should name a railway station 'Bowling'.

"Oh..."

Any others?

Mercurial touch

HEALTH officials in the current hot weather have warned pensioners that they should be careful being out in the sun too long and should drink plenty of liquids.

"Turning their central heating down a notch or two would help as well," added a reader.

Rough justice

GOOD to see former Thistle and Scotland goalie Alan Rough on that quaint STV Glasgow TV station with the very funny Peter Martin in a cramped wee studio talking about fitba'. Alan has however managed a holiday in Florida.

As his wife Maggie was telling some folk: "You are not going to believe this but Alan got ID'd at the local supermarket in Kissimmee buying a case of beer. What made it even funnier was that two days before he had got a senior citizens' discount at one of the parks."

Reshuffle career move

THE chat in Westminster circles is still about Aberdeen-raised Michael Gove being demoted to Chief Whip in David Cameron's Cabinet reshuffle. But as Alex Gordon points out: "When he was a boy in Aberdeen, Michael was a 'cream boy' selling cream door to door. So it seems that by becoming Chief Whip he is only fulfilling his destiny."

And a new member of the Cabinet is Paisley-educated Liz Truss. Says John Hutchison in Hertfordshire: "The real reason that Liz Truss has been brought in is that David Cameron needs all the support he can get."

Focusing on health

PENSIONERS who think they are comedians, continued. A reader was in a south side gym where a senior citizen getting changed was telling his pal: "I've been seeing these weird spots before my eyes."

"Have you seen your doctor?" asked his concerned pal. "No, just these spots," the auld fella replied.

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