THE death of sculptor George Wyllie, of paper boat and straw locomotive fame, reminds architect Tom McKay of the artist's wicked sense of humour.
"George was best man at a friend's wedding, and at the reception he presented the bride and groom with a big brown paper parcel. They eagerly unwrapped it and inside was a beautifully welded chastity belt George had made with a great big padlock and only one key."
See no evil
WE'VE said goodbye to our ocular prosthetics stories, but we squeeze in John Paterson in Balfron who tells us about an old relation in the then Rhodesia who had a large farm, and a glass eye. Whenever he had to leave the farmhands toiling away he would take out his eye, put it on a fence post, and tell them that it would keep an eye on them while he was away.
Recalls John: "One day he came back earlier than expected and saw that one of the farmhands had carefully placed his hat over the eye on the post."
A READER in Glasgow tells us an office colleague announced the other day: "I have a cold shower every morning."
Everyone was thinking how hardy that must be when the chap added: "Right after my wife and daughters have finally finished having hot ones."
ACTUALLY that reminds us of a conversation we heard in an Ashton Lane pub the other night. A young woman was explaining to her pals about the latest disaster in her love life when a less than supportive pal piped up: "I've had showers that have lasted longer than some of your relationships."
OUR story of the Glasgow lads chatting up the girls in the Dutch cafe reminds a Dennistoun reader of being in a Glasgow bar after work when a young chap boldly went up to a fetching young woman and declared: "I'm new in town, can you give me directions to your flat?"
We can't help but recall the old Glasgow reply: "Yer patter's like watter."
A KEEN telly addict tells us of a new rule for the office. She says: "Always treat new work colleagues like old friends – at least until you're 100% sure they're not the Secret Millionaire."
Not so funny
NEWS from the Leveson Inquiry where our contact tells us: "Rebekah Brooks now knows that LOL stands for 'Lots of Litigation'."
Timely bragging rights
HEARTS fans are still wallowing in their fine Scottish Cup win over Hibs on Saturday. Whenever two Hearts fans are within earshot of a dejected Hibs fan, one will ask loudly: "What's the time?"
"Five past Hibs," his mate will eagerly reply.
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