LISBON Lion Jim Craig tells in the just-published book, Celtic Pride and Passion, of playing in Alfredo di Stefano's testimonial in Madrid.
The morning after in the hotel, Jim bumped into Jimmy Johnstone and his wife Agnes who were then leaving to go on holiday.
Recalls Jim: "Jimmy asked the concierge to get him a taxi. When the cab came they got in the back and Jimmy said to the driver, "Benidorm". The look on the driver's face was one I will never forget. Madrid to Benidorm is around 230 miles, but for Jimmy, anything was better than flying."
TALKING of Celtic, Richard Fowler in Orkney reads both the news and sports pages in the Herald and asks: "So Neil Lennon gets four points even though Morton beat Celtic. What's going on in the SPFL?"
A READER who attended American singer LeAnn Rimes's Glasgow concert tells us that during her big number about a romantic break-up, when she sang the plaintive line "How do I live without you?" someone in the audience shouted out: "Goan yersel." Our reader is not sure whether it was admiration for her singing that made the chap shout out, or a simple instruction on how she should live her life.
Rising to the occasion
A LANARKSHIRE reader overhears a woman referring to a "Motherwell dummy". It turns out she was referring to a Greggs sausage roll which many a parent in the town, apparently, feeds to their weans in their buggies to keep them quiet.
Not so slick in the wet
SWIMMING baths continued. Helen Houston tells us: "My brother and I arrived at Govan Baths to practise for our Life Saving Award. We found a small boy staring into the pool, looking very worried. A man was lying flat out at the bottom. My brother jumped in and after a great struggle managed to bring the man to the side of the pool, only to find he was a policeman who was showing his young son how he could lie underwater.
"He was not very pleased at being 'saved' by a youngster who in height hardly reached his chest."
A cop out
THE REV John Gillies in Kilwinning was much taken with the workman who arrived to renew the decking in the garden who, when asked how long it would take, used the colourful phrase: "Three days - by the grace o' God and the help o' 12 Glesca polis."
Weeks later, with the work still not completed, John had to ask if he had difficulty finding the polis.
Bit of a lecture
NEW students are now recovering from Freshers' Week at their universities, bless them. As Solihull police caringly tweeted: "Freshers' Week - seven days of two-for-one drinks, takeaways and traffic cones will leave you dreaming about your mum's home food and a hot water bottle."
CARYL Godwin, visiting the Jack Vettriano exhibition at Kelvingrove Art Gallery, realised her attempt to give up smoking was sorely tested by all the louche folk in the paintings who were smoking. Says Caryl: "I couldn't resist any longer and sat down to have a discreet puff on an electric ciggy, only to be told by an attendant that smoking wasn't allowed, even electronic ones.
"Of course I put it away, but I couldn't help thinking what a cruel policy it was, especially considering the tempting images surrounding me."
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