ACTOR and comedian Des McLean has lost 10 pounds in order to appear as maverick politician Tommy Sheridan in Ian Pattison's black comedy I, Tommy at Glasgow's King's Theatre later this year.
To achieve that, the once chubby-cheeked impersonator hired a personal trainer who dragged him through the pain barrier exercising every day.
"There were times," says Des, "when I wished it was Alex Salmond I was playing instead, as I would then have an excuse to go on the kebabs all week to get the right look."
INCIDENTALLY, Des went for his first spray tan three days ago to capture the essence of former jailbird Tommy. It must have worked, as coming out the tanning shop in the evening he heard a passer-by ask his mate: "I thought he was supposed to be tagged?"
SO who starts them off so young? A Renfrewshire mother tells us her little lad asked: "Mummy, why are you so bossy?"
"I'm your mother – it's my job," she cheerily replied.
"No mummy," said the little one. "Your job is to cook and wash my clothes."
What chance has she got, she wonders.
A READER hears some women in a Glasgow coffee shop discussing a mutual friend who is thinking of having surgery to help reduce her weight.
"So she's jumping on the gastric band wagon?" one of them asked.
EDINBURGH Fringe reminiscing continued. Cabaret singer Keira Daley, who is performing LadyNerd this year, tells us: "I got propositioned by a male stripper one morning when I was out flyering. Earlier that day, another guy had tried to tell me my future."
She added sadly: "If either of them really cared, they'd have come to my show."
It's an honour
BURMESE opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi, after two decades of house arrest, was in Oxford to receive an honorary degree from the university. A Scot down in Oxford tells us a member of the audience murmured that she looked nervous.
"Not surprising – she doesn't get out much," replied the chap next to him.
WE asked for your senior moments, and we're afraid we couldn't stop Gordon Hay in Livingston from telling us: "An old dear answers the door to a couple of earnest young men who ask if she ever thinks of the hereafter. 'Oh yes, son, all the time. I go into the other room and ask myself what am I here after?'"
"WHEN one door closes, another one opens," said the chap in the Glasgow pub the other night.
"That's why I won't hire that carpenter again."
We moderate all comments on HeraldScotland on either a pre-moderated or post-moderated basis. If you're a relatively new user then your comments will be reviewed before publication and if we know you well then your comments will be subject to moderation only if other users or the moderators believe you've broken the rules, which are available here.
Moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours. Please be patient if your posts are not approved instantly.