STAND-UP Ross Noble is on a mini tour of Scotland, and was staying in a hotel where a wedding was taking place.
He was asked if the happy couple could have a photograph taken with him. Noble claims this always cheers his crew up, as they get free cake.
The conversation on this occasion went thus, as Ross later told his fans: "Me: 'Why are you talking to me? It's late, and it's your wedding night.' Scottish bride: 'The bar's still open.'"
Top lawyer weds
TALKING of weddings, there's been a bit of a celebrity do out Venice way. The website The Business Woman headlined the story: "Internationally acclaimed barrister Amal Alamuddin marries an actor."
Yes's mid-life crisis
THAT referendum just won't go away, with Yes supporters proudly wearing badges with 45 on them to show they were among the 45 per cent who voted for independence.
But as Veronica Liddell points out: "These new 45 per cent badges can be a bit confusing. Proudly wore mine in Lanark High Street. An elderly gent stopped and wished me Happy Birthday.
"Very flattered (I've got eight grandchildren) I explained the significance of the badge. 'Right,' he said, 'in that case ye can get lost!' I think a name change is called for."
Nicely ticked off
AND a woman reader says she couldn't help it when her smug pal over coffee was going on and on about her new boyfriend she had met through on-line dating. "He ticks all the boxes," she simpered. "Not much use in the referendum then," our reader couldn't help replying.
Rapid-fire response
OUR tales of Glasgow street encounters remind writer Meg Henderson: "One of the best responses I ever heard was when some Gouranga merchant stopped a bloke in Argyle Street and said: 'Will you say Gouranga for me?' and without breaking his stride the bloke replied, 'Naw, but Ah'll say away and work, ya chancer' and walked on."
Co-op reined in?
A READER in Dumbarton spots a horse-drawn hearse slowly making its way through the town, and thinks to himself he has not seen such an old-fashioned means of transportation to the last resting place for some years. His reverie was halted by a pal explaining: "Co-op Funerals had to use the horses, because they're not allowed to put them in the burgers anymore."
Call for a Tardis?
TALKING of yesteryear, a colleague confesses to us that when he was stopped in Glasgow's city centre and asked by a passer-by where he could find a phone box, he blurted out: "1985" before gathering his thoughts and trying to help.
Drinking in the golf
GREAT excitement at the Ryder Cup golf. A reader who had to catch an early train to Dundee the other day was stunned at how busy it was until he realised it was all golf fans getting off at Gleneagles. He wondered if it was only in Scotland that train staff felt the need to announce at five to six in the morning that no alcohol would be served.
A day to bury bad news A GRUMPY reader in England telephones to tell us: "You Scots were making such a racket over the referendum that we didn't notice our Government was making plans for the third war in Iraq."
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